My Habit from This Town

29) Coming home

Song for this chapter is Coming Home by Dirty Money

**Louis' P.O.V**

I managed to refine my eating for 2 days. Harry figured out what I was doing when I couldn't decide on what I wanted for dinner. He listed every fast-food place possible. I should have been smarter and eaten some for one meal, but now Harry makes me food and only allows me pass up on eating it when the baby makes me gag at the thought of it.

"You will hurt our baby if you continue. You have to realise that, babe." He tells me. I know he is right. I don't know what I would do if we lost our baby. So I decided to eat properly, just for our baby. The night after he tells me, a weird feeling in my stomach wakes me up. I immediately think of the baby. Is it okay? Is something wrong? I decide to google it and am shocked with the results. I wake up Harry, ignoring the fact that its 2.30 in the morning.

"Harry. Babe, wake up! It's the baby!" He wakes up as soon as he hears that.

"Is everything okay? What's wrong? Do we need to go to the hospital? What's wrong?" I cut him off after that. He is getting increasingly worried.

"Nothing's wrong with our baby. But, it's moving! Our baby is moving for the first time. It's alive. It's real." I respond as I start to cry. His eyes light up as I say it's moving. As I fall asleep, everything feels right. I feel like I love my baby even more, if that's even possible.

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Harry and I leave tomorrow. We will have been here for two years and we can finally go home. Harry is going to stay with us for a while, as we want to be as close as possible to each other, and as far as possible from Ethan. Today we have the scan to find out the baby's gender. I'm so excited. I will love it whatever it is, but I hope it's a boy. I've always wanted my first to be a boy. I just like the idea of my kids having a big brother they can look up to.

We arrive at the doctor's and I go in ahead to tell them we are here. When Harry gets in, we sit together and discuss what we think the baby will be. We get a few judgemental stares from other people, but we don't say anything as they could be judging us by our gay or by our age, and I don't want to be embarrassed.

"Louis Tomlinson?" The nurse calls. We get up and follow her in. Let's find out what this baby is.

After the check up is complete, the doctor asks the main question. "Do you guys want to know the sex?" We both nod and Harry grabs my hand. The doctor takes a minute to look. "I think...... it's a girl!"

"A girl? Really?" Harry answers excitedly. I know he wanted a girl. I was shocked. But happy. I was going to have a daughter.

We were so happy driving back to our last night at Princess Park. We decided to go and get the baby's first outfit. We parked up outside the shop and walked in, hand in hand. We got a few judgemental stares as we started looking at baby clothes. I suddenly saw the perfect outfit. It was a pale pink baby-grow that had little clouds and raindrops on. I instantly fell in love. I showed it to Harry and we went to pay. I may have picked up a couple of things on the way, such as some skittles and donuts, but they are for the baby.

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The next day, I felt horrible when I woke up. Trust me to be sick the day I finally get to go home. When Harry and I left, I called mum and the rest of the family to warn them.

"I'm coming home." I say before hanging up. I don't want to hear their reactions, I just want to see them. As we are driving, Harry and I bounce baby names off each other.

"Alexa?"

"Nah. What about Ellie?"

"I guess that's cute. That can go on the maybe list. Vivian?"

"Maybe. What about Amelie?"

"Amelia?"

"No. Amelie. It's cute."

"Maybe." The rest of the journey consisted of names that just didn't feel right.

When we got home, I got ambushed by my sisters.

"Careful of the baby!" I blurted. Not how I was going to tell them, but they were being too rough. Plus I really felt sick. I think I am coming down with something.

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I had the flu. It made me feel terrible. My mind was on the baby the whole time. Would it harm her? I was praying for her to be okay. When I finally started feeling better, I had figured out the perfect baby name.

"Hey Haz. What about Esme Rayn?" I ask him one night, as we are falling asleep.

"Huh? Who's that?" He asked, very confused.

"For the baby. We could call her Esme Rayn Tomlinson-Styles. Or just Styles. I wouldn't mind." I ask him.

"That's perfect. I love it. Esme Rayn Tomlinson-Styles. I want her to have both our last names." We fall asleep almost immediately after. My perfect baby had the perfect name. I couldn't wait to meet her.

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The next day, things went as normal. I took it easy, still recovering from the flu. Something felt off but I assumed it was my body trying to get better. That night, I told Harry my issue.

"Harry, Esme hasn't moved as much today. Like, not much at all. I thought it was just me still recovering but she hasn't moved since this morning. Usually she moves loads whilst we just lay in bed, but she isn't. I think something's wrong.

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We got signed in to the hospital and were immediately given a room. The doctor checked me and the baby and left for a few minutes. Them few minutes were felt like hell. Then she came back.

"I'm really sorry Mr Tomlinson. The baby's heart has stopped. I believe it stopped sometime this morning. I'm very sorry for your loss." I felt my heart shatter.

She was gone.