My Habit from This Town

30) Small bump

Song for this chapter is Small Bump by Ed Sheeran

**Louis' P.O.V**

I got home from the hospital a few days later, after my body had fully recovered. I felt sad all the time. I just wanted to lay in bed and cry. I would never get to hear my baby's first cry, first word. Never see her first steps. I wouldn't get that from her. It was my fault. I should have been more careful. Harry must hate me. He stayed with me throughout the entire hospital experience, but I could tell he was hurting too. He doesn't deserve me.

He came into my room with a tray of food. I wasn't hungry but I knew I had to eat. I ate as much as I could before I felt like I would throw up. We didn't speak. There was still so much pain. I couldn't even look at Harry without feeling guilty, but also pained. Our baby was half his. They would look similar. I couldn't deal with it.

"You should go home Harry." I blurted out, still not looking at him. "You were only here to help with the baby, so I guess you should see your family now. I'll text you later." I tell him and before he can reply, I get up and go to the bathroom. I just want to cry but I can't let him see. He must feel as bad as me. He has to hate me.

I leave the bathroom and he is gone, with only a note left on the bed.

"Lou. I know you hurt. I hurt too. Text me. Please don't push me away. Love you, Harry xxx"

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I woke up the next morning after a night of crying. I don't know what time I eventually fell asleep, but I knew it wasn't long ago. I was exhausted. When I first woke up, I still felt my small bump and hoped it was some horrible dream, but then I felt Harry's cold side of the bed and I knew that it wasn't just some nightmare. It was real. And I didn't know if I could handle it. I still had to text Harry. I didn't know if I could do it. I couldn't face him. I would text him later. It was all still too soon. Mum knocked at my door gently and came in.

"How you feeling? That's a stupid question. Harry's been texting me. Have you spoken to him?" I shake my head at this, feeling more tears well up in my eyes at his name mentioned. "Talk to him. He really wants to talk to you about something."

"What does he want to talk to me about?" I ask suddenly. I have a feeling I already know. He wants to break up with me. He doesn't want to be with me. I killed his child.

"I don't know. He won't tell me. But talk to him. He was hurt that you wanted him to go, but he left so you could have some space. He loves you so much Lou." No he doesn't. He is going to break up with me. I don't think I can deal with him ending it. I know what I have to do.

To Hazzy:
I'm sorry. I know what you want to talk to me about so I'll make it easier. Just block me and I'll never bother you again. From this point on, I'm not your boyfriend. Goodbye.

It was sent. I couldn't handle whatever his response was so I blocked him straight after. That was it. We were over. I was all alone. I didn't have Harry. I didn't have Esme. I had nobody to live for. I wasn't going to do anything stupid, but I felt so empty. Useless. I just laid in bed for the next few months.

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**Harry's P.O.V**

That's it. He had ended it. Louis had broken up with me. I was so sure that before all of this, he wanted the same as me. I was so sure he would say yes. I just chucked the ring box at the wall and got into bed and cried. I had lost both of them.