A Song For Another Time - A Hikaru Hitachiin Story

Chapter Thirty One - So Long Just to Feel Alright

Just like they promised, the troublesome twins were gone before Christmas — each taking with them a pack of homemade cookies made for them by Rose and Molly while they were sleeping. The break was short but sweet and Rose was back in her dorm room before she knew it.

It looked different now though. She couldn't tell if it was the way the late winter light was shining through the far-too-old curtains or if it was the feeling welling up in her chest.

For so long, she had felt like she was on her own — isolated on a leaking lifeboat saved for only those without family or friends. She had felt so singular in a world made of complex wholes, but she had always ignored the parameters of her life's equation, floating along in hopes of one days making it to solid ground.

Only now had she realized how fervently she had pushed away attempted rescuers and refused their help to plug the leaks in her life. There was safety in keeping an arm's length and, until now, the only people who had broken through were her foster parents and she had been content with that. Content with people passing in and out of her life, with surface friendships and siblings lost to happier lives.

Rose should know by now, though, that life was like constantly overflowing rivers: it just doesn't stay the same no matter how hard you try. If nothing else, change had always been a constant and despite how comfortable she had felt in the suspended state of her life, there were two colossal pains-in-the-ass that had shoved their way into her comfort zone and refused to leave. It was like they had reached into the unending emptiness and forcefully pulled her out of her suspension and into the land of moving time.

"Jerks," she whispered to herself as she unpacked her suitcase on her dorm bed as she went over the events of the past few months in her head. Despite the mild curse toward their general being, there was a smile on Rose's face. "Those stupid jerks."

Snow was falling outside her window as she continued walking around her room, preparing herself for the upcoming semester starting just the next day, and there was a simplistic, post-card readiness to the world around her. Once everything was settled in the right places, the right books packed in her bag and an outfit had been set out (just so she could sleep in an extra few minutes in the morning), Rose sighed and slumped onto her bed, propped up on her elbows as she lay out on her stomach.

The twins had returned to classes two weeks prior and Rose had decided not to distract them from their studies with drivel about her ongoing vacation, but she had found herself actually missing their annoying voices. As she flicked through her phone, trying to slow the buzzing of thoughts in her head, she opened her photos and smiled at the memories passing in front of her eyes — memories she wouldn't have if she hadn't gone to that study session that day in the library. What an absolutely crazy thought.

Rose made a slight grunt as she flipped over in her bead and raised her phone above her head, smiling at a photo of Hikaru teasing Diego. Maybe she had three new brothers now? Just as that thought crossed her mind, the picture was overlapped by a notification and Rose rolled her eyes. Figures he barges in at this moment.

You ignoring me or something?

'Yes,' she thought to herself and didn't respond, clicking her phone closed and throwing it under her pillow. Her face soon flew into the pillow as she tried to muffle her frustrated screams. As long as she continued her education here, he was always going to be hovering around.

You're nothing.

You're useless.

Unappealing.

Not even your parents wanted you.

With her eyes closed, Rose tried to calm the heartbeat pacing in her head by taking long, slow breaths through her nose. His face kept breaking through the darkness, though. What a mistake it was to have trusted the first person who smiled at her here. Her foster mother had always told her that the devil hides behind beauty, but she had been so desperate for even just one person to help her transition to college life.