17th May
Dear boo,
If you're reading this probably you know that I'm talking to you and some people probably will know it. It's so easy to guess who you are.
Today I'll talk about my feelings and you'll understand everything so you'll never see me as the same and I'll probably ruin forever our friendship (if I'm not dead yet, of course).
You're the third reason and after you there are only three.
Don't believe that's a good thing because it's not.
You're not the third because you did something less important.
In fact, you did nothing.
I'm here to say how I ruined my whole life after I met you.
You were my point of reference, but there are so many things I didn't told you.
I loved you.
I said to you so many times that I had lost the count.
You said to me too.
It was a "friendly I love you" , but I felt like it wasn't.
I felt like nothing we said was in the "friend way".
So I really thought that I really loved you in that way.
I tried to say to you, but you didn't understood and I cannot be more specific.
I said you didn't deserved me.
It was true.
I didn't deserved you because you were too much to me.
And I was (and I am) nothing for you.
You didn't deserved a quite depressed girl who had an iced heart and didn't have idea of what is real love.
Most of all you had a girlfriend.
You were so kind and beautiful.
I was nothing.
You were so freaking amazing and nice.
I was nothing.
You were my everything.
And I was nothing.Once I said that you had to go away from me.
You didn't.
I didn't knew why you did that, you should have but you didn't.
I understood that if you did, I probably killed myself before or I'd have come back to crying as an asshole.
I am sorry.
You did nothing and I ruined you probably.
when you tell someone to leave and he doesn't, you know he's all you deserve.
I don't deserve you.
I loved you and I still do,
L.
P.S.: if you read that, you should know that probably you won't talk to me and If you'll do I'll run away as a coward.
