31st May
Dear C***,
as you can see... you're back! I'd say cheer but that's not the exact context to cheer up tho.
You have to forget me, I can't do that to you.
You don't know who I am really, you have an idea of my person that's not so accurate. You see me as kind and beautiful but I'm not.
I know you like me, not as friends and I think I was jealous when you talked about other girls but I didn't like you in that way.
I reached a point in my life where I can't have feelings, where I confused feelings between "friends love" and "real love".
I am young to have those feelings and most of all is wrong to have them for a person that I met online and I didn't see yet. I know we live near but I can't do that.
Probably this is the sixth reason, you are the sixth letter and I'm sorry but this is only the truth.
You can't have those feelings, probably you're confusing affection with love and it's completely wrong.
I don't like you in that way.
You have to forget me.
I'm destroying you and you're doing the same to me so we just probably have to forget us.
I know it's complicated, for me at least, but we have to.
I don't want to hurt you anymore.
And I didn't want to hurt me anymore so I ended it.
I needed to end all my feelings.
I needed to log out by life.
And you are the sixth letter, you made it happen.
But it's not your fault, it's mine.
I did it.
I met you.
I got attached.
You loved me.
I couldn't.
I was sorry.
I felt guilty.
I couldn't stand it, I was scared you'd end it.
I was afraid that you'd end you're life.
So did I.
I preceded you.
So I wouldn't hurt you anymore.
we cannot confuse love and affection, it would be like confusing revenge and justice. A really bad mistake.
Forget me or I'll force you to do it,
but believe me, I can let you go and still love you.
I'll always love you.
L.
