Love more (urban)

32

Kimayah Carter 💋
So it was officially Christmas Eve and as you can imagine, this day was due to be very stressful. I made sure I was up from 6:30am on the dot because I still have last minuet errands to run. I had to go Asda to get snacks and drinks because my dad forgot to buy them 🥱 I also need to clear out the other spare room to accommodate my cousins. And guess what? Have I even wrapped half of my presents? The answer is NO. I've wrapped two and there's at least 50 more to go. I'm actually useless sometimes. I didn't go alllll out this year, but I made sure to get my family some banging stuff.

Tiana💕: happy Christmas eve bitch. You don't even shout me no more. But I'm due to be near your area, let me come and drop off your gift?

Me: awwww teeee, it's nothing personal I promise! But yh, come at around 6 though. I've got a lot to do.

Tiana💕: cool cool x

I've really been distancing myself from the people who care most about me but I'm keeping close to the ones who don't seem genuine.. I.E ayesha. There's something about this girl that I don't like, but I really can't put my finger on it.. I don't just want to judge her so soon but you know when something doesn't sit right on your chest? I think it's because I'm not really use to having friends, so I feel like I'm looking for red flags that aren't really existent.. it's either that or shes a dodgy girl 🤷‍♀️ I know I've been repeatedly saying this but I dunno

I didn't even ask my mum if Tiana could come over looool. I don't think I've learnt from what happened yesterday but to be honest, she's not staying.. she's just bringing my gift.. so it shouldn't be an issue.

The thought of lots of my family members coming over is starting to give me some sort of anxiety. I know they're my family, but I'm not really a hospitable person.. I don't like to socialise and I'm being put in the position where I'm forced to socialise and be hospitable at the same time? It makes me feel itchy just thinking about it looool.

I don't like the fact that I have to greet and interact with EVERYONE.. at least if it was a big event like a christening, I'd only have to say hi to a few people and then hide with my cousins somewhere.. but now everyone's coming to MY HOUSE, I can't be antisocial and hide in my room so it just makes it worse. I'm moving like we don't do this every year but it's different this year because there's more people.

I'm just hoping my grandad doesn't make us play charades because I swear, that's the traditional game he LOVES to play alllll the time.. I legit stand there awkwardly, the only time I'd play that game with confidence would be if I'm under the influence and I don't think I'm going to drink everrrr so 🤷‍♀️

My uncles will probably be playing dominoes or LUDI in one corner, those games I really enjoy though so I wouldn't even mind.

I got up out of my bed and took a long hot shower. I got dressed and decided to wake up ayesha. I haven't really been speaking to her since she's gotten here and I think she can tell that I'm giving her the off vibe.. I do feel bad but I can't help how I feel towards her

"You're following me Asda" I said to her whilst walking into the guest room.

"Alright babe. give me An hour to get dressed" she smiled

This gave me the time to see what my mums got done so far. She's had quite a lot to do and I know she's going to be mad tired.

"Mummmyyy, do you need anything from Asda?" I asked

"Just get drinks. Any drinks. Doesn't have to be no special brand" she requested

"Okay"

I sat patiently waiting for my mum to finish making my food. She usually makes breakfast for everyone on Christmas Eve. She was making bandeja moñtanera for me because that's my favourite meal.. she was also making a full fry up for the others