Love more (urban)

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Mind
/mʌɪnd/
noun
1.
the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought.
"a lot of thoughts ran through my mind"

Thought1
/θɔːt/
noun
1.
an idea or opinion produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind.

Kimayah Carter 💋
I continued to drive back towards my house, tears were starting to fill my eyes. I always let my emotions get the best of me, but I simply can't help it. Especially when I'm driving, its like my mind is constantly racing.

For some reason, I felt so alone and empty. I couldn't shake this feeling away and I just felt like something bad is going to happen to me, something life changing. I don't know what it is, but having thoughts like this is really painful. It's eating me up inside that I can't even prevent anything from happening if I don't know exactly what is going to happen. Usually my intuition never lies, so I'm stuck thinking about all the possible things that could potentially ruin my life.. but none of it is making any sense. Maybe I'm just overthinking as per usual.. but this feeling is horrible.

I tried to sway my thoughts to think positively but my mind wouldn't allow me to. I'd  always trail back to having negative thoughts. My thoughts were starting to become even more intrusive and it's like they were controlling my body. I struggled to stay focused as I was always consumed with these intrusive thoughts.

I turned up the radio, hoping to drown out the noise of my thoughts. It didn't work though.

It's kinda sad how a person can't really escape their thoughts. There's no off switch. You have to constantly live with them, whether they're good or bad, helpful or harmful, positive or negative.. no matter what it is, thoughts are literally with you for eternity.

More-time, I think of the most random things out of the blue..which then leads to another random thought, then that thought leads to another random thought and then all you know I'm thinking of a time where I embarrassed myself in reception and how sad that made me feel. It's really a never ending cycle.

Sometimes I find myself overthinking about OVERTHINKING! That's exactly what I'm doing now. I'm thinking about the cause of my overthinking, how I can overcome it, I'm wondering if anyone else experiences things like this, I'm thinking of how life would be if I didn't overthink. If only there was a way I could express my negative thoughts and feelings into something positive.. I dunno how I'd do such thing but I know it'll be beneficial.

To be brutally honest, this being human thing isn't easy. but it is what it is.

I was shaken away from my thoughts when I heard a loud beep.

"GO YOU DUMB BITCH" I heard someone shout from the car behind me..

Wow. How rude.

It was my fault though, I was literally stationary in front of the green traffic light. I didn't even realise that I had stopped. I started my car up and drove towards McDonalds. I was starving!

I pulled up to the old Kent road mcdonalds drive through and ordered myself a sausage and egg McMuffin, hash browns and a hot chocolate. McDonald's breakfast absolutely slaps when you're feeling down 🤷‍♀️

I drove back to my house and decided to eat my food in the driveway before my mum starts to complain.. she always gets annoyed when I choose not to eat her food.

I heard a light tap At my car window and saw it was dajan, I playfully rolled my eyes and let him in.

"You stink of weed. How many times have you smoked today" I said