Stand still, stay awake.

4

Hello, and I am back agaiiiin~ So, as I said in the intro part, this book contains some violence, homophobia, and some other +18 things. So at that parts, I will put a warning sign in case you get disturbed and want to pass the episode. Also, this type of episodes contain fulllll of drama (bcs I love drama and tragedy yeah I'm a bitch for this sorry)

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⚠ Suicide attempt, Anxiety attack (I don't know if it considers a mature content though, but I will say the reason why I put it here at the end of the chapter) ⚠
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- 2 weeks later -

"Maybe we should just let him go?" Duen looked at Ting Ting with an uncertain expression. It had been approximately 20 minutes since they saw Ram sitting on a bench, without moving. At first, they thought he passed out due to hot weather but when they saw the thing he was holding, they decided to leave him alone.

"Maybe... But I don't want to leave him. You know what happened the last time."

"I know I know.. Wait I got an idea." Duen took his phone out and called King.

"Hey Duen!"

"Hey P'King.."

"What's up with your voice? Is something wrong?"

"Yeah it looks like something is bothering Ram but we can't understand it. He has been like this for 4 days already. We were just wondering if something happened between you guys..." Duen frowned. "Hello? P'King?"

"Okay, I came as soon as I can." King looked at them while panting. He closed his phone and looked at Ram with a concerning face.

"What's going on with him?"

"We don't know P'! That's why we called youu."

"Nothing bad happened between us so that's why I am not sure too. Let me talk with him." He got up and walked towards him while trying to breathe properly. He ran so fast that he couldn't even feel his legs anymore. "Hey cool boy!" Ram turned his head toward the exhausted boy. "Are you ok-" King stumbled before he could finish and nearly fell. But fortunately, Ram caught his arm before falling. "Thanks."

When they both sat down, King looked at his face with a concerning look. "Did you cry?" After a couple seconds of silence, Ram nodded. There was no point in denying it because King knew him well enough to figure it out. "Do you wanna talk about it?" His soft voice made his eyes tear a little bit.

"Yes.." King placed his hand on Rams' leg.

"Whenever you're ready." They both stayed silent for a few minutes. Then Ram opened his mouth.

"A couple of years ago, I was hospitalized. I thought I was dying and even though that was my purpose, I was scared as hell." Kings eyes opened wide with fear but he didn't say anything.
"I think I was 15 at that time. Before that, we were living in a different country with my family. I was having some troubles because of the new environment. I have anxiety disorder so it was very hard for me to get used to new things." His eyes started to fill up and his hands were a little bit shaky.

"You don't need to continue." King held his hand and squeezed it a little in order to show his support.

"I'm okay. You make me feel safe." He looked at his eyes and forced a little smile. "My new psychiatrist gave me some pills but they were not what I was used to. So.. It caused some side effects. I had severe attacks and hurt myself. I was in so much pain but at the same time, I didn't say anything about this to my family. I continued to take them because aside from the side effects, they were working fine. But some time later, things got messed up. The side effects we're getting stronger and stronger, and even though I stopped taking the pills, some of them continued. I couldn't take it anymore. I was starting to get scared of anything, getting exhausted from everything, had terrible nightmares nearly every day. I would wake up in tears and sweat. It was too much for me. I was getting weaker and weaker every day and the only thing I wanted is this to end. And there was only one way in my brain." King accidentally squeezed his hand because if shock.