By the time I reached school the next day, all of the warm haze that the weekend had brought had cleared, and reality was clinging to me, heavy against my skin. I saw my friends, once again accompanied by Cameron, at the end of the hallway and groaned, tugging my shirt up a little bit. It'd be awkward enough dealing with my friends' questions, but I could already imagine Cameron's sad puppy-dog face, and I just knew it'd melt my heart. I thought about not going over, but I knew that'd make me look even guiltier. At least we didn't have English until the very last thing, so I could try and regain some normality before seeing Gerard.
I approached them slowly, trying to ignore their eyes on me. As I got closer though, of course, it got harder to ignore and I raised my head, making a bit of a show of taking my earphones out and shoving them into my pocket.
"Hey guys." I said smiling, standing next to Cameron. Joe and Chris' eyes almost bulged out of their heads, and Cameron shifted uncomfortably next to me. So it seems that we're doing this now, then.
"Dude, what the fuck ate your neck?"
"It...I..." I stammered. Chris turned to look at Cameron.
"Did you do this?" he asked, bewildered. I sucked in a breath. Cameron giggled and slid his hand into mine.
"Yeah, I guess I got a bit carried away." He said, blushing. I turned to look at him, open-mouthed, and he winked at me.
"Dude, well done." Joe asked, raising his hand for a high five, which Cameron reluctantly returned. He turned to me, his eyes wide.
"Can I talk to you?" he said softly. I nodded and let him lead me away. He leaned against a nearby post and sighed, looking up at me.
"Okay. So I just covered for your ass, so I think I deserve an explanation." He said, more sharply than I was used to from him. It's not like I didn't deserve it though.
"I have a- boyfriend. I guess. Sort of. He's like, a guy I'm seeing."
"And a guy you fuck." He said. I blushed.
"Yeah. I mean, when he texted you...we weren't doing anything. He just said that to make you mad. We were literally just chilling out." I said. He nodded, seeming somewhat appeased.
"Why would he say that to me?" he asked, tilting his head. I smiled and ran my hand through my hair.
"He's ah, jealous of you." I said, blushing. He raised his eyebrows.
"Jealous? Why?"
"Because y'know. We've gotten really close and he knows that you like me and ah, that I like you."I said, looking down. He slid his hand back in mine, and I peeked up, smiling softly.
"You like me?" he asked gently.
"I thought it was obvious."
"It's not really." He laughed, running his hand behind his neck. He stopped and chewed his lip. I pressed my lips together.
"Well, I kinda do. It's complicated. Everything's so damn complicated." I groaned.
"I don't understand that." He said, narrowing his eyes.
"I can't explain it that well. It's like, okay, so I've got this guy, and he's great. Better than great, actually. He's pretty much everything I could ever want in a person and I'm stupidly in love with him. But there's this big fuckin' flaw that means that we can't be together – not really." I said, looking down, slightly defeated. Cameron, to my surprise, just nodded slowly, trying to understand.
"And then there's you, and you're just. I don't know, you kinda just draw me to you a bit, and you're so calm and easy to be with, and there's no complexity or awkwardness or expectation. It just is. It's nice." I confessed. He smiled a little bit.
