I was miserable, again. I'd been miserable for the last two months, and today was no different. I think most of that had to do with it being a Thursday – I hated Thursdays. They were the only thing standing between me and Friday. Not that I really liked Fridays anymore either.
Hell, I didn't like anything.
"You're in a bad mood." Joe observed. I rolled my eyes and shot him a dirty look.
"Does it have to do with-" he said, gesturing with his head to Cameron, who was sitting with his friends, instead of with me. He was still mad about what I'd said the other day, and was punishing me by ignoring me. I think the only bad thing about it was that it reminded me of how little I cared about this whole relationship. It felt like a sham anyway, so why should I care that he wasn't talking to me? I groaned and rested my head on the table. I wasn't normally like this, and I cursed Gerard for making me so damn apathetic towards anyone and anything that wasn't him. That selfish asshole.
"No, it doesn't. I mean, yeah, maybe. I don't know."
"Yeah, whatever." Joe said, looking back down at his lunch.
"What?" I snapped. He sighed.
"You're always so damn moody now. What's going on with you, man?" he said, exasperated. I didn't say anything, because I couldn't.
"I think I know." Chris said softly. I met his eyes, my stomach flipping. I remembered what he'd said to Mr. Way the last time he'd seen him, but never mentioned it. I'd hoped he'd forgotten, but the look he was giving me suggested he hadn't.
"No, you don't." I said, chewing my lip. He just shook his head.
"Dude, it's okay."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Frank. I know, okay?" He said softly. I sighed and buried my head in my hands. This isn't what I needed right now, at all.
"How long?" I asked, my voice cracking.
"A little while. I believed all of the rumors, at first, before we were friends. I only really noticed it for real after you started dating Cam."
"Oh."
"It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"It is. It's the worst thing I could have done." I snapped. He sighed, smiling a little bit. That was reassuring.
"No, it's really not. Like I told him – you made a good choice. Both of you did. You care about him, and he's clearly crazy about you." He said. I pursed my lips and looked down.
"What's going on?" Joe interjected. Chris shook his head.
"It's nothin' man. Frank's just dealing with some shit." He said, and I shot him a grateful look. He smiled back, but then changed the topic. I really, really loved that kid sometimes.
Miss Pauper had hinted that we'd be doing something different in class today, but she was a bit ambiguous as to what that meant. If it meant that she wasn't going to turn up and was going to leave us to our own devices, she was making a good start. Ten minutes into the lesson and we were still sitting there, staring awkwardly at the front. Some students considered leaving, myself included, but we knew if she came back and we were gone, there'd be hell to pay. Cameron, continuing with his immature behaviour, was sitting at the back, as far away from me as possible. I rolled my eyes and looked down, doodling aimlessly on the corner of my English book. I couldn't draw, but the motion of drawing little circles that linked up to make a chain was somewhat soothing. I glanced at the clock and sighed – still 45 minutes to go.
I heard the door open, and didn't look up.
I heard Chris and Cameron gasp, and didn't look up.
I heard a chorus of cheering, and didn't look up.
