I had to hand it to him – Gerard was really, really good at ignoring me. I saw him unexpectedly in the hallway before class, and he just swept past me like he hadn't seen me. It was blunt enough that even Cameron noticed.
"Trouble in paradise?" he mumbled. I elbowed him in the ribs.
"Shut up, it's not like that." I muttered, blushing. He squeezed my hand.
"Sorry, it's none of my business." He said, and I just nodded as we walked to class. I wished today, more than any other day, that I didn't have him first. Or at all, actually. It would make the whole ignoring him thing a lot easier. Somehow, taking a break from him to give myself space to think was actually making it harder to think. I was so worried about him that my stomach was turning, even though I'd just seen him so, by definition, he couldn't be dead.
This was confirmed when we filed into class – Cameron pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth like a fucking asshole – and I sat down. Gerard was, as always, drawing in his damn sketchbook. It made it easier to look at him, to assuage my own fears. His hair was disheveled, and his eyes were dark and bloodshot, but I could blame that on the fact that he was either severely hungover or still a little bit drunk. He had his sleeves rolled up, so I let my eyes sweep along his arms and breathed a sigh of relief when they appeared clean. Feeling better in the knowledge that he was probably alright (as alright as he could be, of course), I leaned back in my chair and waited for him to speak.
Which he didn't. For a long time.
He finally stood up after at least fifteen minutes of us staring at him in silence and smiled. It was strained, but not forced.
"I'm going to be blunt as fuck here." He said, sitting on the edge of his desk.
"I'm pretty hungover. I might actually still be drunk. I drank a lot last night." He said, scratching his head. He stared at a spot on the floor for a bit before mentally shaking himself and smiling again.
"So it'd be awesome if you guys would just read your books and make notes? I'd read it to you, but I think I'm gonna vomit." He groaned, dropping back into his chair, his hand shielding his eyes.
"It's a bit irresponsible to be drinking on a school night." Cameron sniffed from behind me. I turned and glared at him.
"Cameron, in the rudest way I can possibly muster, please shut the fuck up. Your voice literally makes me want to shove glass through my eyes." Gerard drawled. I snorted despite myself, earning me a angry glare from Cameron. I shrugged.
"You deserved it." I mouthed. He narrowed his eyes.
"Stop provoking him." I mouthed, my face more serious. He sighed and nodded.
"Sorry." He whispered. I smiled before turning back to the front, but felt a niggling feeling in my stomach I couldn't place. I wasn't sure if it was me regretting admitting everything to Cameron, because now he was acting like more of an asshole than Gerard was, or if it was because I kept catching Gerard staring at me with a 'lost puppy' kind of expression. Whatever it was, it was enough to cause me to groan and rest my head on my arms, pretending to read until the end of the lesson.
I was worried about him for the rest of the day. I'd heard from some students I passed in the hallway that he'd vomited during and in front of the class after ours, and that the nurse refused to see him (reminding me that I had to ask him about the obscure comment she made to me about him last time I saw her). I asked them casually if he'd gone home and they shrugged.
"I don't know dude, but he looks fuckin' gross today." One of them laughed. I pursed my lips and didn't mention that I thought he looked gorgeous even when he was at his worst.
Still, when I saw him at lunch (sitting on a table on his own in the corner, instead of with the rest of the staff) I couldn't deny that he looked like Hell personified. He was paler now that he'd been sick, with a thin sheen of sweat across his porcelain features. His hair stuck, matted to his waxy skin. Even though I promised myself I wouldn't, I needed to speak to him, at least just to make sure he was okay.
