It was Mikey that spoke first, after a silence that seemed to stretch on forever.
"What the fuck, Frank?" he breathed. I didn't even look at him, my eyes were watching Gerard. His mouth was slightly open in shock, his eyes watering and leaking tears that he didn't seem to notice.
"Oh." He breathed gently. That was it. No crying, other than the few tears, no screaming. There was no eruption of anger, or pain, or disbelief. There was just him, staring at me. In his eyes, though, I could see the reflection of the storm that raged in his head.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I weeped, bringing our joined hands up to my lips. His hand lay limp and unfeeling in mine, even as I kissed it. He closed his mouth slowly, but his eyes still stared at the wall, like he was trying to poke a hole in it with his mind.
"I can't...Frank, this can't be true. You're fucking with us, right?" Mikey pleaded. I shut my eyes. I thought of Bert's hand, and the rush of pleasure I felt.
I shook my head no, and Mikey made a defeated noise.
"It was an accident. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to..." I pleaded. Gerard's eyes shifted slightly up to meet Mikey's and he gulped audibly, before dragging his eyes back down to meet mine.
"T-tell me. Everything." He whispered hoarsely. I wrapped my arms around myself and shook my head.
"No. Just leave me, okay? I'm dirty and...just leave me." I whined, tears clouding my eyes.
"How was it an accident? How do you accidentally fuck someone?" Mikey spat, and I flinched at the venom in his voice.
"Mikey. Stop. Frank. Tell me." Gerard murmured, his voice almost robotic.
"Please. I can't. I can't tell you, you'll hate me." I whispered.
"It was Cameron." He said. I shook my head.
"No. No, I swear. It wasn't him."
"Who then? I deserve to know, Frank. Please." He begged, his voice edging onto desperate. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.
"Bert. It was Bert." I breathed.
There was silence for a long time. I opened my eyes and saw Mikey and Gerard staring at each other. Mikey's face was indistinguishable, but Gerard looked...confused.
"Frank...Bert hates you." He said simply, slowly. Like I was crazy.
"I know he does. Fuck, trust me, I know. I hate him too." I whispered. Flashes of his body pressed hard against mine flooded my head, and I bit down on my lip to chase them away.
"Then how? What happened, Frank?" Gerard said, his face and voice expressing concern. I leaned back and wiped my eyes, trying to control the hiccups that burst from my chest whenever I tried to speak.
"I can't." I whispered, burying my face in my hands. Gerard groaned from across the table, and I heard a faint thump. I felt Mikey's hand on my back, and I looked up slowly. He was almost smiling gently, his hand rubbing soothing circles into my back.
"Frank...Bert is manipulative. He's a liar, and he's really good at getting what he wants. If he made you do anything-"
"Stop." Gerard gasped, struggling to his feet. He looked unsteady, like he might throw up.
"Just stop it. I...can't...I'm sorry." He breathed. He looked at me for a second, his face pale, before bolting from the room.
I distantly heard his bedroom door slam, and I crumpled against Mikey.
"Frank? Did he make you do something?" he persisted. I shook my head.
"N-no. I wanted it." I whispered. Mikey sighed.
