Chicago PD || Fan-fiction

Playing Tough Guy: Chapter 17

A/N: I'm thinking about doing every other chapter Jay or Brooke's POV. Would you guys like that? Thanks for reading!

BROOKE'S POV

The past 3 weeks have been surprisingly peaceful. The team caught Mendosa, and he is going to be behind bars for a long time. He tried to skip town, but nothing gets past intelligence, especially when you mess with one of their own.

As for me, I was discharged a few days after my surgery. The first few days the team would pop in every once and a while and Jay would come over and check on me every chance he got, but him working and being with me all the time was really cutting into the amount of time he slept. So he's been sleeping on my couch for the past two weeks in I need him. I haven't, but it's nice to have someone else around. I would be going crazy if I was stuck here by myself all the time.

Being the amazing partner he is, he sneaks case files so that I can stay in loop, because when I go back to work in 2 days, you won't be able to stop me with a freight train. At first it was a little strange having him here, but our relationship has been anything but normal from the beginning.

He has made a habit of texting me when he's on his way home and leaving random notes around the place to remind me of the things I had told him I didn't want to forget to do. The bag with his clothes spilling out of it on my living room floor doesn't feel so foreign. My half-bath is his bathroom with the exception of him using my shower every morning, where his 2 in 1 shampoo has found a permanent place on the shelf. The whole experience has me feeling some type of way, and as excited as I am to go back to work, I've gotten used to having him here.

He has quickly become my favorite person in this world. Sure Hailey and Kim have spent several of their evenings with me, especially Kim, who feels the pain of not working, but at least she's on desk duty. Even Voight and some of the other guys have stopped by to check, but Jay, he's taking over as my caretaker. Which is sweet, annoying and incredibly sexy all at the same time.

There have been a fair share of "moments," but of course we haven't spoken about any of them. One night, we fell asleep on the couch and I woke up pretty much on top of him. Another night, I was cooking dinner and he came home, waltzing in the kitchen, kissed me on the cheek and walked out, saying he was going to change and then he'd help. I stood there shocked. It felt like we were married, and I've gotten accustomed to our attempt at playing house.

I'm folding laundry when Jay walks through the door with a pizza box. He's read my mind. He sets it down on the counter and plops down on the couch next to me. "You didn't have to do that." He says when he sees one of his signature V-necks in my hands.

I shrug, "I was doing a load anyway..." I trail off awkwardly.

"Thanks," he replies, breaking the tension.

We fold together in silence for a bit before I remember the pizza he brought. "Enough of this, let's eat." He chuckles as I get the box off the counter. "Have you heard from Mouse?" I ask as I sit back down next to him. I've learned a lot of things about Jay in the past few weeks, including a lot about his best friend Mouse, who he called to help find Kim and me. He was a Ranger too. He's been using Jay's apartment as a hotel and he flew back to D.C. yesterday to get some things. He's decided to stay in Chicago and was transferred to our areas FBI agency.

He shakes his head, "No, but I'm sure he's busy. You know, packing all the things he is going to move into my apartment." I laugh with him.

"I'm sure he'll find his own place soon." I say.

Jay smiles, "Yeah, but until then, it'll be a little cramped."

"That's for sure, you can't even fit a kitchen table in your 'dining room'" I say laughing and he sighs. My mouth moves a little faster than my brain does. "If you want, you can stay here." I say.

He grins, looking as surprised as I probably do, "Really?"

"Of course," I choke out, "I've got the space, and it's been nice so far."

"Yeah, it has." He says, looking me straight in the eyes.

I cough, turning my attention back to my pizza and so does he. I grab the remote and turn the TV on, not bothering to actually watch it. I want to bang my head against a wall. I basically just asked him to move in with me.

Over the past few weeks, I've gained some much needed distance from my family. It has definitely helped my relationship with Jay. I've come to terms with the fact that he has become a big part of my life and I trust him. I know that he isn't going to just abandon me. We have already been through so much, I can't imagine I have anything left that would scare him off. Plus, I'm happy, I'm actually happy. But just because I have embraced our very unique friendship doesn't mean I want to face the feelings demons in my closet. I think I'll keep those buried for as long as I can.

We eventually say goodnight and I leave Jay to his makeshift bed on the couch. I honestly thought he would have left by now, my incision is pretty much healed and I'm moving around fine. Not that I want him to leave. Changing out of one pair of sweatpants to another, I crawl into my bed and attempt to fall asleep.

My body feels heavy as I attempt to push myself up off the hard, concrete floor, only to hit again after my arms fail me. My head is spinning and my eyes still haven't adjusted to the permanent darkness of the room. I can hear whimpering somewhere in the distance, but it sounds like it's coming from everywhere. "Brooke..." Someone moans. I still can't pin point where they are and I thrash around trying to move in one direction or another. "Help me..." They call out again. I feel hot tears run down my cheeks.

"Where are you?" I scream, clawing at the ground to push myself toward the voice. My hands slide across the cold floor, and it's then I notice they are covered in blood and completely useless. I begin to cry harder, becoming unbelievably frustrated by my inability to move. I'm trapped.

As I finally begin to pull myself across the ground, a hand grabs my ankle, pulling me back. I scream and grasp at anything I can. The hand grabs my hip and pushed me onto my back, holding me down. "Where do you think you're going?" they ask. I look up and meet Dan's cold, emotionless eyes.

"Please don't hurt me." I plead quietly. He laughs loudly, glaring at me and digs his nails into my already fragile flesh. In his other hand I can see a baseball bat. He lift the bat and-

I jolt awake screaming. That's the other thing that has become normal the past few weeks. Nightmares.

My door is thrown open as I stay frozen, breathing heavily. "Brooke?" A groggy voice asks. I begin to cry as Jay wraps his arms around me. While everything else in my life has gone back to somewhat normal, the nightmares about my abduction just keep getting worse. I lean into his embrace as he calms me, which isn't an easy task. "I'm right here." He says as he shifts all of his weight onto my bed.

I bury my face in the crook of his neck and soak his t-shirt with my tears, latching on for dear life. He rubs small circles on my back until I finally stop trying. 'I'm sorry," I say, pulling away and wiping the tears from under my eyes. This is the second night this week that I have woken him up.

Jay runs the pad of his thumb over my cheek, "Do not apologize." He says, holding my face in his hand, "This is not your fault and I will be here to help you through it." I nod, the sincerity in his voice bringing back my tears.

"It-It wasn't Mendosa this time, it was D-Dan." I explain, hiccuping as I attempt to spit out the words.

Jay sighs and pulls me into his chest again, "I am so, so sorry." He says, holding me tight and putting his head on top of mine.

"It's not your fault." I mumble into his shirt, "You are the only one making this bearable." I say, pulling back and looking straight into his bright green eyes. "I would not be here without you."

The corner of his mouth curves up a bit, but he never looses his composure. His eyes flicker from mine to my lips, I suck in a breath. "Let's try to get some sleep." He says and I let out the air slowly, letting him guide me to a position where my head in on his chest and his arms are around me.

I can't shake the feeling of guilt. If it weren't for me, he would be living a perfectly normal and fun life, probably as Hailey's partner, probably spending his free time with Adam and Kevin at Molly's, probably not consoling some girl why she cries about being kidnapped and her abusive dad, well, not dad. Maybe I'm selfish, but I can't help it, I wouldn't want him anywhere else.A