Tainted Teardrops [Book no.1- Dhatins of 3030 Indonesia] ✔

07 | a terrible mistake

~ Amity's POV, continuation~

Hated. Bad.Not good enough for many.

Laying down on the red-rocky pathway, drenched in blood flowing from my head and voice crackling, I was beginning to think that this was the end of my journey. My journey of life, of being alive. Disappointed was the word to fathom this. Slowly, my mind would twirl in slow-motion like a Ferris wheel rolling. Feeling a word that doesn't cease to exist in my mind right now: kindness.

What can one do to be kind to another? To lack sympathy for a reason was one thing, but no matter how long I'd try to understand them I'd never live in their shoes. No matter how much, I, a human girl, tried to befriend a monster dhatin like Kersen, all I'll get is whiplashed and cruel remarks.

Raindrops rapidly hit my face as the wind snapped against my brown shaggy hair in disgust. It's been what? A mere month living in Semarang, Indonesia, and I've never felt more emotionally drained from such defiance.

With a sigh, I begged my limp arms to help me rise from the ground I lay on. Tired of people around me, tired of people like him was the reason for this pain. It wasn't even the blood that flowed from my brain and the continuous crunching of my heart that was causing me pain. It was the fact that all I've ever encountered in my life was a bunch of rotting assholes like the dhatin of Jenglot, Kersen. I can't do anything right... What was this feeling?

The wind continued to pile onto my face like I was a punching bag used for boxers. "Pow pow" I could almost hear it whisper. My hair, tangled with a mixture of blood and dried-up tears, continued to itch at the roots of my hair, my skull now seems like a ground of a bird's nest laying on top. Do you think I cared enough to think about that brat's feelings?

No, I do not.

Leaves brush at my face as they fly from the ground, and sweep up into the sky. "WHOOSH!" They speak to me, and the wind continues to howl in despair.

" Are you o-okay?" A small voice whimpers and its little body saunters towards my direction, where my body lays still on the ground.

" Yeah. Don't worry about me. I'm alright, I assure you!" My voice squeaks out, using up every ounce of courage in me... To not suddenly cry in front of him.

At the back of my little 12-year-old girl's mind, I couldn't help but feel happy.

" Do you need help, Amity?" The voice says, but I refuse the help. In fact, I refuse to even glance towards the direction of the voice for fear that it was that terrible brat. Even though I was very glad to hear that somebody-at least somebody- cares for me, my inner conscious couldn't help but scowl. Why scowl?

I hate it when more-fortunate-than-me people try to help me.

Emotions sparse and numb, I gently budge out of my position on the ground. My eyes start to re-adjust and I see ahead of me, the sun's bright, shimmering gaze smile down on me. " Hmm, I guess I'm alright now," I say to myself; like the voice wasn't there to hear me say such a phrase.

" Are you sure?"

" Yeah." Looking forward to the direction of the voice, I see it is none other than Mrs.Johannson's son, Henrik. He's wearing the same corduroy overalls and pageboy cap as before, but this time, instead of a small, shy smile, it's a bright and welcoming one. I notice for the first time, that from up close, he has a beautiful smile.

The kind of smile that makes me feel envious.

Why can't I be that happy to smile like that?

Henrik, with his genuine pretty-boy smile, I know that there's a depth to his smile, that somehow speaks of cavernous thoughts, and maybe, ill intentions. But, either way, I can't help but copy-paste his example and smile back. My lips curl in an upwards motion, as I reach my hand forward for a shake.