Remember me (a Kylo Ren story)

VIII.

The next morning I wake up in my old room on base, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I notice Rey is missing, as her small cot is empty with the sheets neatly made. After getting ready, I exit my room and run into Poe. "Hey hot shot, how are you feeling?" His eyes bounce to my wounded chest before looking into my gaze again. "I feel good, I think." I shrug. "You think? What's going on up there?" He smiles and pokes my forehead lightly. "I guess I'm still shaken up from seeing him after all these years. I can't wrap my head around the fact that he did this to me." My fingers trace the scar he made. Poe's smile falls as he grabs my hand, squeezing it.

After the night in the Jedi temple, when Poe rescued me, he let me go on and on about what happened and how much Ben meant to me. I talked about how I first met Ben, our years spent together training, and how scared I was. Scared I would never see Ben again, and how fearful I was for Master Luke's safety. For months after my return to Han and Leia, I would have nightmares; Ben coming for me in my sleep. 

His blue saber burned holes into my mind, I could still feel his grip on my neck. I would wake up screaming, tears running down my face and Poe bursting through the door to see what happened. He would always stay with me, even after I calmed down. Poe was the second friend I had ever made, before him I only had Ben.

"I've listened to you talk about this guy for years, you loved him Em, and he tried to kill you. Influenced by Snoke or not, a man does not hurt the woman he loves." Poe pulls me into his chest. "I'm glad you made it out of there alive Poe. I can't imagine losing you." I quickly kiss his cheek before pulling away. "Have you seen Rey?" I smile at his flushed face. "She's in the medical wing checking on Finn." I quietly thank him before heading off. Everyone is back to their normal routines, X-wings taking off for flight training, and mechanics work tirelessly on repairing the cruisers. Admirals and commanders walk around taking reports of damage and casualties.

Pushing open the metal doors, I peer inside to see Rey kneeling in front of Finn's body. Finn's been in the ICU pod since we returned, according to Leia, Rey has barely left his side. Rey and Finn's relationship was akin to mine and Poe's, someone she trusted and would give her life for. "Hey. How is he?" I ask standing next to her. "He's getting stronger, but he still has a long way to go." She worries about him. "I'll take care of him, I promise. Come on, you don't want Chewie to leave without you," I say. She leans over and places a lingering kiss to his forehead. "Goodbye my friend, I will see you soon, I promise you that." She stands and we start walking to the Falcon, meeting Leia and Chewie there.

"Here, take this." Leia pushes a small device into Rey's hands. "It's a tracking beacon, to light your way back home." Rey slides the small thing into her pack, before pulling Leia into a hug. When they pull away, Rey and I's eyes meet, mine are filled with tears. "I wish you could come with me, and help teach me." Rey says. I shake my head.

 "Master Luke is the best teacher you'll find, I know that for a fact. Besides, I don't think he'll want to see me, I'll just remind him too much of Ben." She nods her head and turns away towards the ship. "Rey." I call for her. She slowly turns around to look at me. "May the force be with you." The entrance ramp for the ship rises, sealing her inside. "Please be careful." I send my thoughts to her.

I watch the Falcon take off, the ship growing smaller as they jump to lightspeed. "Hey, you okay?" Poe stands next to me. "I'm just gonna miss her, but I know she needs to find Luke and train with him." I blink my eyes to push back any tears as he brings his arm around my shoulder. "Come on, I know just the thing to cheer you up." We walk to the flight deck, and Poe leads me to his X-wing. "You, me and BB-8 are gonna go for a little joy ride." Poe pulls on his flight suit.

 Once he had taught me how to fly, we would always go on little trips around the base, as he always insisted on racing me. "Poe, it's been four years since the last time I've flown one of these. You know Han never let me pilot when I was with him." He hands me a women's flight suit and helmet. "Well I'll give you a quick refresher course then." I laugh at him. "Oh please, I need a refresher course? What did you say the last time we raced? Mm, I think you said I was almost as good as you."

Now it's his turn to laugh. "Well, you did learn from the very best." He pulled on his helmet when a loud siren silenced us. "That can't be good." I toss the flight suit and helmet to the side as I run out. "Leia has called for an emergency base meeting. Come on!" Snap runs pass me. Poe and I follow Snap into the Command Center; everyone on base is squeezed into the room. "The First Order has somehow tracked us. We need to evacuate the planet immediately." General Leia's words send a mixture of gasp and murmur though the room.

"How much time do we have before they reach us?" I speak. "We have approximately thirty mintues," a private sitting in front of a screen says. "That's not enough time to get out of here. We need to distract them." I look at Leia, who's smiling at Poe. "That's where you come in. You will go up to the command ship and lie about having an urgent message for General Hux. Maybe try and trick them into thinking they can't hear you or something. I don't know, but we just need you up there long enough for us to get ready." I glance at Leia. "Ready for what?" She clears her throat. "Once we successfully evacuate the base, we are going to try and take out the cannons on their dreadnought ship." A smile returns to my face.

"After Poe takes out the first two cannons, then Emery will lead the rest of the fleet and bomb cruisers." Leia turns to me. "You need to drop all you've got on the dreadnought." I'm shocked at the command she's given me. "You want me to take the lead on this one?" She nods. "If you're as good as a pilot as Poe says you are, then this should be easy." I punch Poe in the arm, and quietly thank him. "Now that we have our plan of action, we need to move. Time's wasting," General Leia says as everyone storms out the door. I run full sprint to the flight deck, picking up my flight suit as I make my way to my ship. A mechanic finishes up the repair on the communication signal transmitter in my X-wing, as I pull on the pants of the flight suit.

"All set. Godspeed rebels." The man runs over to the next ship, doing the same thing. Climbing the ladder, I set myself into the cockpit and pulled my helmet over my head. Strapping myself into place, I flip the start switch and the generator of my ship roars to life. I look out the viewport and see everyone running around, loading explosives into the cruisers and database equipment into transports. The red and blue teams are now loaded and ready for take off. I take one last look at the base, knowing that we can never return. Many memories of Poe, Leia, Han, and Chewie fill my mind as I jump to lightspeed.

"Blue leader, do you copy?" Poe's voice coming through the transmitter. "I read you, loud and clear Red leader," I say glancing over to the radar, taking count of my fleet, waiting for the signal to strike. "Emery, please be careful. This isn't like our little joy rides, this is the real deal. I almost lost you to Ren on Starkiller, and I don't intend on losing you on this mission." I can hear the worry and concern in his voice. 

"Oh come on Poe, you know I can do this. After all you did tell the General about how good of a pilot you thought I was." I laugh trying to make light of the situation. "Em, I'm being serious. This is your first time leading the fleet. I know you can do this, you are one of the best pilots I've trained. Please just be careful." He says, his words send butterflies to my stomach. "I promise I'll be careful, Poe. We'll be racing around the new base in no time," I say as his ship jumps forward towards the First Order fleet.