(ON HOLD) Tell Me When I'm Good Enough ($uicideboy$/$crim story)

Four

Scrim

I head straight outside to smoke. MGK comes out to big us up about the show. I'm not really listening till he mentions Amber. She's been multiple times to our shows and we've never known. I didn't even know she was a fan till I saw she knew everyword and that can be a feat. We don't exactly pronounciate our words.  I watched her walking out with Shay. She was definitely something else. She was definitely being flirty with me but is that what she's like or does she find me attractive. I'm hoping the latter even though I know she's with MGK and he's touching her. That slightly irritated me.

Oddy starts up a conversation about how many times she's been to see us perform and all I manage is to croak out some half arsed question. She's slick and has a perfect retort about next time. I'm literal putty in her hands. Her biting her lip was doing something to me. My dick was twingeing I had to think of something else because I couldn't stop staring at her. I tried. MGK pulled her close and whispered to her. I felt myself tense up. What is wrong with me? I was getting angry he was touching his own girlfriend.

We headed in after then to watch MGK'S set. Then he brought her up. I have no idea how I didn't bust a nut. I felt like a primal need to be with her. Touch her, kiss her, fuck her, protect her. I was hungry for her. I didn't take my eyes off her for a second. God knows what I looked like to everyone else. I didn't give a shit. Her performing was the most erotic thing I've ever seen and she didn't do anything sexual in the slightest. I've never felt like this before for anyone. Sober or on drugs. It wasn't like a want, it was a need. I almost lost it when Yungblud grabbed her ass.

When she came over and sat down lounging on MGK and Yungblud I had to take myself away to clear my head. I sat outside looking up at the sky. That normally recenters me. What was I doing. I had met the girl mere hours ago and I was going crazy about her. I know now that she is definitely flirting back. I desired her yeah but I knew if I ever got her I wouldnt want to let her go. That's the bit that scared me. Giving myself to someone again. It didnt go well the last time. And that had lasted over my whole adult life.

A full year and I'd not got anywhere near wanting to try again. I was lonely especially in my new house. It was so big I seemed to rattle around it. My new album had been like a Therapy session. Maybe I was ready. Why did I have to fucking basically imprint on someone who's already taken?

Fucking typical

I head back in. As soon as I sit down MGK is macking on her. The red mist starts to come down. My head snaps up as Shay puts her hand ontop of mine calming me down the only way she knows by stroking my hand. I take a couple of breaths and by the time the red mist is gone Amber is stood Infront of me. I gulp hard. Suddenly my mouth is dry. She leans in close kissing me on the cheek. My breath hitches in my throat the kiss leaving my skin tingling. She whispers in my ear wanting me DM her. But it's about the show.

I'm shit at deciphering what women say to me. At least with hoes they tell you exactly what they want and where they want you to put it. I watch her leave wishing I had said something back. But I had no idea what I would even say.

"What the fuck was that?" Oddy looks straight at me as soon as they are out of ear shot

"What?" I try to play it down

"Don't what me! Your practically humping her leg. What did she just say to you?" He eyes me annoyed at me trying to play dumb

"She just said. DM me about coming to your show" I shrug with a confused look on my face

"Is that exactly what she said?" Shaina pokes my shoulder.

"I can't remember, she might have said something about coming backstage" I rub my face

"Did she say to see you?" She pushes me further

"Yes, yeah she did she said to 'come back stage to see you' then she winked. That's good right?" I look at her hopeful

"Well yeah if she wasn't already taken $crim" she sighs

"Yeah that's an issue" I chew the inside of my mouth

"It's a obstacle. This is progress $lick. You need to slide in them DMs mane" Oddy slaps me on the shoulder.

I don't want to do it quite yet I wanted to sleep on it. Work out exactly how I felt about her, was I just obcessing? There's no point messaging her and me getting all confused if in a few days I forgotten all about her because she could have split with MGK for no reason. Not that I think she would split up with him for me.

I got in bed that night and insta stalked her. God she was beautiful. She's better in the flesh but definitely photos well. I look at the time and ive been stalking for at least an hour. I decide to try and get some sleep. Knowing my dreams will be of her. I might have to think of her before bed aswell I was starting to get a semi. One that I've been forcing down all night. I'm sure I can find a picture of her embedded in my brain that will help me out

What has my life got to that. I'm alone in a hotel in LA, wanking off the thought of another man's girlfriend. Maybe I needed more help than I originally thought