(ON HOLD) Tell Me When I'm Good Enough ($uicideboy$/$crim story)

Eighteen

Fuck it's a good job she found her self control because she's wore me down. I was seconds from fucking her up against her bedroom door. When she joked about having a cold shower actually sounded like a good idea. She's teased me a lot today. I stepped in and it didnt help the stonker of a hard on I had. I started stroking to the thoughts of her grinding down on my lap and her lingering kisses down my neck. It didn't take me long to finish I couldn't wait to actually fuck her.

I got in bed and fell asleep straight away for the first time in a while. I woke up excited. I had a decent sleep and a lie in. I trotted down to the kitchen and sat on the counter waiting for the coffee pot to finish. Coco came down to join me and Lexi arrived to see Amber. They tried to grill me for details of what we where doing tonight. I told them nothing. I didn't trust them not to tell her and I wanted it to be a surprise. It wasn't amazingly fancy but it was personal. That what I wanted. Somone that wanted me for me. Scott. Not $crim. Not because I was one half of $uicideboy$. Or that I had a nice house and cars. She didn't seem like that. She understood my addiction more than anyone I've ever met. More than my family.

I excused myself to go and prepare for the date. I had to go all out and make sure that everything is perfect. It wasn't anything too fancy but I wanted to put alot of thought and effort into it. I needed to get a trim and decide what to wear, make myself somewhat up to her standards. I made a few phone calls while I was driving to the barbers. I decided to go shopping after the barbers and get something new to wear. Nothing stood out in my closet, I wanted something casual but dressy. Not awkward at all. I ended up with a whole new outfit.

I was starting to get nervous and kept making phone calls to triple check everything was OK. I was agitated when I got home it was only 2oclock and I didn't want to sit around and wait. So I grabbed my running gear and pontiac and we set off to get rid of some of my adrenaline. My feet pounding the tarmac was cleansing my soul. It was like therapy to me. I could feel the shitty anxiety leaving my body. I knew that there would still be some nervous anxiety leading upto 6oclock but I could deal with that. I thought about the future. How would it work? Would we date or just see each other whenever the other one was free? I'm a jealous dude and I don't think I could cope with being in a long distance relationship. One thing I did know was this girl was special. She gave a shit too. Which is hard to come by in the industry and for a druggie. She seemed to get that the drugs would always be there like an itch I could never scratch. That she could just help dull the irratance, distract me. I couldn't be fixed but she could help me maintain. Whether that's just for now or for the long haul.

I arrived back home and hadn't realised I'd been out for 2 hours. I headed up to my room and could hear the girls chatting. They where getting on like a house on fire, that made me happy. It doesn't happen very often that all our female friends get on. In fact I don't think that has ever happened. I take a long hot shower I throw some moisturiser on my face, since I've started running I've had to look after my skin a bit more. I sit on the edge of the bed and take a deep breath, time to get dressed.  I pull on my khaki's and a white tee and pulling on the camo shirt I got today. I pull my nike air force 1s on before I head down to wait for Amber to be ready. I see Coco running past with a bottle of tequila.

"Coco don't you get her drunk before our date please" I raise my eyebrow at her before I head down to the boys. Max, Kevin and Adam are sat watching 'Stepbrothers' 

"You look nervous bro" Adam smacks my back as I sit down.

"I am"

"Why? You already know that you both want to jump each others bones, this is just a technicality" he chuckles

"I know, I just- I don't know if I've just talked myself into thinking this is a good idea? I can't do anything serious, not right now" I do a deep sigh

"Well stop making it so serious then. Go have fun, have sex with that smoking hot singer then go from there" he fans himself

"She is smoking hot isn't she?" I grin to myself

"I don't think there's a person on this planet that wouldn't agree. She seems nice too. Go get her tiger" he pushes me up. They  silently cheer me on as I head for the stairs. I can hear someone pacing in her room as I slowly get closer. I'm guessing it's Amber, I hear Coco tell her off for hogging the tequila. I take that as my que, I don't want her too buzzed.

I know on the door asking if she's ready. The door swings open and she stands there with a nervous smile in her face. She looks breathtaking. Her hair curled down her back, bare shoulders and a flowy skirt with boots. She has her own style, I like it.

"You look beautiful. You ready?"

She smiles widely at me "As ready as I'll ever be, I don't know why but I'm so nervous"

I hold her door open for her "Me too" I lean down and place a kiss on her as she sits down. "I hope you have a good time"

"If your there I'm sure I will"