(ON HOLD) Tell Me When I'm Good Enough ($uicideboy$/$crim story)

Fifteen

Amber

I dumped my case and bags in the trunk and plopped myself down into the passenger seat with a huff. Neither of us spoke. No-one wanted to start this conversation or break the ice.

knock knock. 

"You need to move from here, this is only a drop off point" a booming voice said as a face appeared at my window. $crim apologized and drove off quickly. We drive in an uncomfortable silence for a while untill he pulled off in the middle of the lake Pontchartrain bridge.

"I'm sorry" I could tell he was looking at me. I couldnt bring myself to look at him. I couldnt risk his eyes making me melt. I looked into the eerie water as it crashed against itself. Like my emotions fighting against eachother.

"Well that's a start" I pursed my lips wondering where to go from there
"What do you want?"

He reached up and gently turned my face to look at him "you, I want you" my stomach dropped and I suddenly felt sick. Ive wanted to hear those words so bad over the past couple of days but hearing them now made me nervous.

"Well what's the past two days been about?" I know I'm still sounding harsh but I can't let myself cave just yet. I need to be sure he's thought this through.

"I'm scared, scared to let someone in again. I've had a bad relationship with love and drugs. They've always been connected and I don't want to ruin either of us if I can't control myself" he looks down at his lap as he fidgets with his hands.

"But you will never know unless you try. You can't just shut yourself off..." My tone softens knowing he's going through inner turmoil, he doesn't need me to make him feel any worse.
"I'm scared too"

He looks up at me with those baby blues "of what"

I take a deep breath and try and fight back the tears " of being the reason you relapse"

"What, no don't ever think that it would be your fault" he seems shocked and panicked at my confession.
"I'm the only one that can take responsibility for that"

"It's...just... that they where all panicking that you would go off the rails because I'd left. And we haven't even been on a date yet. What happens 6months down the line and we have an argument, do I have to be worried that your going to run off for drugs?" I struggle to talk through the sobs. He undoes my seatbelt and pulls me into his chest.

"That would never be on you. I'm not going to say it's going to be easy. But they are my demons to control not yours" he kisses my forehead as he strokes away the tears.

"I just don't want that pressure. I can deal with the relapse and the drying out. It won't be my first time watching it. I just don't want to be on eggshells our whole relationship" I clutch onto his shoulders

He brushed the hair from my face as he looks down at me "you shouldn't have to deal with anything" he pauses as he tilts my face up to look at him and he's grinning "Our relationship? Does that mean I get a second chance?"I roll my eyes.  I can feel him smile as he kisses my forehead again

"Maybe" I huff " you did say my name when that girl was doing whatever"

"Shit, did I? I'm suprised she spoke to me after that then" he chuckled. I sit up and play smack his chest as I rub my tears away with the back of my hand.

"Hey don't laugh, I'm still annoyed at that!" I cross my arms and sulk.

"I'm really sorry about her. I just didn't want us to have sex before we really knew what we wanted. I didn't want to realise I couldn't do this" he motions between us "and lead you on. But you had me so wound up and she noticed. One thing lead to another and im not proud of my actions" he hangs his head

"You should have just told me that. I feel like I've got whiplash with your rollercoaster of emotions" I rub my face with both hands.

"I promise I'll make it up to you " he gives me a small smile

"What was with that kiss on the stairs?" I shake my head in disbelief

"Well I had every intention on begging for your forgiveness and a second chance. But I saw your face and couldn't help myself. Then I felt stupid so I ran off" he covers his eyes and rubs his hand down his face.

"Well I was confused but I didn't hate it" I smirk

"Oh, so you wouldn't mind if it happened again?" He smiles

"I wouldn't be adverse to it" I giggle and bite my lip. He lets out a small low growl.

"You look so sexy when you bite your lip" he cups my face and bridges the space between us quickly. His lips crash into mine with ferocity. Like a hungry animal. I push his hair back off his face and wrap my arm around his neck. I lift myself up onto his lap, my ass against the steering wheel. He runs his hands down from my face to my waist and one travels down to my ass. Squeezing it slightly he adjusts me so I'm flush against him. I can feel him growing underneath me. I bite down and gently pull at his bottom lip, making him moan. I use this to my advantage and slip my tongue in his mouth as I grind down into his crotch slightly. His hand on my waist grips harder as the one on my ass slides down to my thigh. Our tongues fight for dominance as run my hands through his hair. I gently tug and we break the kiss as I trail kisses down his neck. His eyes hooded as his hands start to roam, one sliding under the hem of his hoody I'm wearing to rub circles at the small of my back.

knock knock

"Excuse me, you cannot park here" I jump off his knee slapping my hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing. $crim rolls down the window

"I'm sorry sir, won't happen again" he looks sheepishly at the officer

"Are you Amber? My daughter loves your music can I get a picture and a signature? " He smiles over to me.

"Sure no problems officer" I smirk at $crim as I get out of the car. As soon as I'm back and the officer waves us off.

"What is with people knocking on my car today?" He shakes his head "maybe it was for the best. I want to take you on a real date first . That's if you want to?" He puts his hand in my thigh and squeezes

"I'd love to" I grin as I kiss his cheek