(ON HOLD) Tell Me When I'm Good Enough ($uicideboy$/$crim story)

Fourteen

Scrim

People started showing up for party round 2. I sat in the kitchen chatting to some friends from school when Amber came wondering in to the refrigerator. She looked stunning as always, how does she look good in cycling shorts?

The guys where going into detail about what they would do to her. It got me angry. Got me jealous. Real jealous.

"She's off limits. No-ones to think about her let alone talk to her. Understood?" Everyone just nodded and made their apologies. " If I see 1 person fucking touch her..."  They all held their hands up in defense.

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Ruby had took the girls shopping and I had to try fill my time. I was worried. I didn't like the thought of her being out in town. There was four if them and only one Ruby. I should have gone with them. Or we should have a sent a bodyguard with them it's not safe.  I played some basketball with Pouya to keep me busy. take my mind off worrying about her  We messed about on my court taking shots, then a little one on one. Which I won. Hands down.

When they got back Adam decided to do a photoshoot with the girls. He wanted to expand his portfolio from just us tattooed freaks he shoots everyday. It was like the playboy mansion up in my backyard. The four girls all skantily clad and posed to show off their assets. I hated seeing all the boys drooling at Amber.

I knew I'd fucked up and I knew that she wasn't meaning to rub it in my face but I couldn't help but feel annoyed at the situation. She was just perfect. Her body obviously but the way she scrunches up her nose when she's concentrating and her unintentional pout. The way she laughs makes me smile and she seemed to fit in well with everyone. I wanted to prove to her that I was sorry and that nothing would ever happen again.

I headed up for a shower and stood under the hot stream of water trying to figure out what to do. I needed to try and get her to forgive me. That was going to be a hard feat. I knew I fucked up. I couldn't take it back or change the fact that it happened. All I could do now was prove myself.  I had to get her to talk to me so I could beg for her forgiveness and a second chance. 

I had it all in my head. I needed to ask her to go somewhere with me. Anywhere that wasn't in this house. Go for a coffee or a quiet drink, somewhere that we could be alone. Somewhere without distractions.

Next time I see her I'll ask

I jogged out of my bed room and went to head down to find her. I found her quicker than I expected as she was heading up the stairs. She apologized for nearly walking into me. I apologized. And kissed her. I have no idea why. I just couldn't help myself. I ran away quickly. Why had I just done that? That was just going to confuse everything. Why could I not just be normal and ask her on a date or something...

I sat down with the boys round the fire pit. Not really paying attention to what was going on around me. I kept playing that moment back in my head. Did she look happy about the kiss? I could tell she was shocked but she definitely didn't looked repulsed. Her lips softened against mine but was that involuntary?

I didn't even realize that Bailey was here until she was straddling my lap whispering about finishing wherever we left off. I shook my head out if my thoughts and into the present. Just as Amber walked out of the patio doors. I shouted her and tried to get up to follow her. I struggled to get Bailey off my knee then had issues trying to get through the mass of people that had now filled my house. She went in on me and I don't blame her.

I left her a while to give her some space and then went searching for her. I checked the bedrooms and couldn't find her or her things. I had a gut feeling she'd left. I sat at the top of the stairs trying to straighten out my thoughts. What if she has left? Is that it? Do I give up? I don't want to. I want to beg for forgiveness and hope she gives me a chance. I hadn't even done anything that time.

I need to know where she is.

I head outside to find Lexi she would know. I didn't get chance to ask because everyone was already talking about it. I walked into Bailey and Coco practically fighting. Amber was going back to LA.

I lost it. The red mist came down and I don't really remember what happened. I started throwing things about and screaming for everyone to leave.i went into full melt down. I grabbed the first things that I. Could reach, launching them.  Only my close friends stayed. I think the rest where too scared that I'd finally lost it completely.

I just kept thinking this would never had happened if I had just stop second guessing myself. I knew I'd fallen for her and I hardly knew her. That's never happened to me. I've never wanted to see someone or talk to someone like I want to with her. We barely knew eachother and I know I couldn't not have her in my life.

Standing around the house listening to everyone talk about it and not getting anywhere was making me worse. I needed to find her and I wasn't going to do that stood in my living room. I grabbed my keys and got in my car quick. Before anyone could tell me it was a stupid idea.

I drove around thinking about what I would do in that situation.

I would go back to LA too. I'd get on the next flight. I would want to go home. So I drove to the airport.

I sat in the car outside one of the gates and doubted myself for a second. No I need to stop doing that. I need to go with my gut feeling and do what my heart tells me. I go to cut the engine when there's s knock on my window. I put down the passenger side and it's her.

Must be fate

"Pop the trunk then" she says through gritted teeth