My Unknown Life

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Claire’s POV

Darkness, that’s all I see, everywhere I look. Am I still alive? Yes, I have to be, I can feel the warmth in my hand, but only just one hand, but it’s not only warmth, I feel tingles, like fireworks, I can even feel the pain in my body by the torture I endured. If I’m laying down asleep, then I must not be there anymore, so where am I? I tried to open my eyes, but they felt like glue, so I tried a couple more times, but I still couldn’t open them. I was beginning to give, but then out of nowhere I heard a familiar voice. “Any movements” Someone said, it sounded like a girls voice. “No, not yet” I heard another voice say, this one sounded like a man’s voice, and I know it from somewheres. Wait… is that… Sam? If I’m with Sam, that means he found me, that means I’m safe. I need to see him.

I put all my strength, all my focus to my eyes. But then I stopped, if I wake up then I have to live in the miserable life of mine, and I know Tyler will find me again and if he does and manage to take me again, I don’t know if I will be able to go through that torture. I started to fade back asleep, maybe I can just stay like this forever and not worry about life anymore. “Love, please wake up. I need you to be awake, I need you to be with me”. I heard Sam say, but what really caught me was his voice. His voice sounded sad, so choked up, his he crying. I know this is hurting him and I know if I just stay asleep, it would kill him. I need to wake up, I need to be with him. Next thing I knew, I saw a blinding light, shining right in my eyes, I moved my head and quickly closed my eyes. “Love, Claire” I heard Sam say, I felt his hand on my cheek, I wanted to melt. I slowly opened my eyes back up, blinking rapidly to adjust my eyes to the light.

I turned my head to see Sam looking at me, with worry all written on his face, “Claire, you’re awake” he breathed. In a minute, I was pushed in Sam’s body, with his face on the crook of me neck, I quickly hugged him back missing the warmth he provided. Even though he's squeezing me, hurts me, right now it doesn’t matter. “I thought you were never going to wake up” he whispered, I smiled and hugged him tighter. After a couple more minutes he let me go, we sat in silence, till the doctor finally entered, he gave me a sweet smile telling all about my injuries and checking them, and telling me how I have to take it easy for a few weeks. It was weird having him touch me, even though I knew he wasn’t gonna hurt me. Sam could tell that I was uncomfortable with another guy in the room with me, “Alright, everything looks ok, but I do want you to stay overnight, just to be safe”. I shook my head and prayed that he will leave. He wrote some few notes down on a clipboard and bowed his head and left. 

Next Day

“You do know I can walk” I told Sam, while he was carrying me into the house. “Yea, I know, but I really don’t care,” Sam said while smiling down at me. I shook my head but stayed quiet, to tell you the truth, I like being in his arms, I feel safe. He walked in my room and put me on the bed, “Do I have to stay in bed,” I asked him, I really want to walk around and stretch my legs, I hadn’t walked in weeks. “Yes, you heard the doctor, you need your rest”. He said sitting down on the bed. I huffed and rolled over on my stomach. I heard the bed creak and felt a presence on my back. “I’m only following the doctors’ orders,” he whispered in my ear. I stayed quiet, enjoying Sam near me. “Love, roll over” he pleaded. “No” I said while digging my head farther in the pillow, while smiling. 

He chuckled and moved my hair on the side. I shivered when his fingertips lightly brushed my skin. He brushed his nose against the crook of my neck and started kissing. I bite my lip from making any noises. He started sucking on my skin it felt so good. Without my permission a little moan escaped my lips, I felt him smiling against my skin and that just made it 10x more sexier. He flipped me over to where I was staring at him, he lips was automatically on mine. I quickly kissed him back, putting my fingers in his hair and tugging on it. He groaned and kissed me harder. He moved his hands to my pants and started to unbutton them. I quickly grabbed his hands and pulled back, “Sam,” I breathed, “I’m not ready yet”.  I looked at him with big eyes hoping he's going to say okay and not force me to do things. He smiled at me and nodded, I know he wants to do it and I do too, but after what happened to me, I don’t think I can. I rolled over to my side and closed my eyes, maybe I can forget what happened these past weeks. I felt his arm snaked his way over my side and pull me closer to him, I smiled and fell asleep.

I woke up feeling cold, I turned around to see Sam gone. “Sam!” I called, but he didn’t answer. I got up and stretch, which killed my side. I walked to the mirror to see my reflection, I hadn’t seen myself in weeks, I’m actually afraid to. There I was, but it wasn’t me, what I saw was a girl who had a lot of shit happened to her, a girl even though she says she’s fine is broken in more ways, screaming for help, but no one can hear her and when they do, she doesn’t want any help. I turned around and walked away, not wanting to see that girl anymore. I walked out of my room and went in the living room, I can tell Sam hasn’t been here in awhile, he must be at the pack house. I walked in the kitchen and saw Sarah and Cassy talking. They must sense me because when I walked in I was attacked with hugs and screaming in my ears. “Omg, you’re okay, I missed you so much” “Are you okay, do you need to go to the hospital” I kept hearing all those types of words, I pushed them off and looked at them, “I’m fine” I said quickly. I passed then up and grabbed an apple off the table.

“Are you sure” I heard Cassy say. “Yes”. I said walking in the living room, I really wish people would stop asking me that question. I sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V. “You do know you can talk to us about everything”. “Sarah”, I snap, “I told you, I’m fine”. Now I’m starting to get angry. “Well, we all know you are lying, people just don’t come back to a place where they’ve been abused and be ‘ok’”. “Yea, Sarah, you’re right” I started to say, “I am lying, but you don’t know what it was like there, you wouldn’t know! So when I say I’m alright, then leave me alone about it!” I screamed, I know I shouldn’t be screaming at them, but I just wish they would leave me alone, I wish they would forget about it, like I want too. 

I heard the door slam shut and saw Sam standing by the door with worry in his eyes, I looked at him and mentelly cursed myself, I didn’t want him hearing me say that. I turned around and ran up the stairs to the bedroom, I felt a tear slid down my face, but I quickly wiped it away, not wanting Sam to see it, and think I’m weak. He probably already thinks that. I slammed the door shut and jumped on my bed. Thatś when the tears come raining down, and there was no stopping them. I buried myself under blankets and pillows, praying no one will come in the room, but of course my prayers were not answered. 

I heard the door creak open and footsteps coming towards me, I know it’s Sam by his scent. I felt the bed dip and a hand on my back. “Love, turn around” “No” I whispered, not really wanted to talk to no one. He signed and put his hand on my arm and flipped me around. He stared in my eyes, I turned my head facing the wall, not wanting him to see the tears stains on my face. He put his hand on my cheek and turn my head to face him. I looked in his eyes and I saw, regret and sadness in his eyes. “Love are you okay?” I shook my head ‘yes’ but quickly stopped and shook my head ‘no’. I sat up and hugged Sam, trying to hold back my tears, but I failed, miserably. I started crying while Sam held me tight, whispering sweet nothings in my ears.