madisons pov
—
imessage
bub <3
i need a nickname for u
i'm tired of your contact name
neeed to switch it up
also i wanna spend thanksgiving
wif you baby
you don't call me anything
beside mama & baby
you're basic tbh
i have variety of names for u
also yes i'm down
but that's a lot food to cook
for three people
true shit
i'll think of something
but no you meet my family
they know i'm into girls
but not that i have a gf
ma'am you have a whole
wife
i'm not your girlfwend
don't belittle me like dat
so i'm meeting your
family as a friend?
sorry didn't know i
put a ring on your finger
yes
is that fine?
maybe you should then
yes it's fine
—
in all honesty i wasn't fine about it, i wanted to be known as the girlfriend but i also get it she's not comfortable putting that sorta thing out there.
i can say i'm super happy with billie, and she means the world with me. but i don't know if i can say i'm happy with our relationship. i know what it's like to be in a relationship. you make cheesy post on how you much you appreciate the person or how much you miss them and personally i can't do that without it being in a private story where only certain amount of people know.
i want the world to know i'm in love with her and everything that comes with her. whether it's the immature voices she does or her tics. i know she's a person i wanna be with in the long run.
but i additionally know that i can't be in a relationship if i can't publicly show them off. that just isn't me.
i believe i'm putting her happiness over mine, which isn't health nevertheless that's how i want it to be. i want her happy before i am.
—
imessage
wogan 👼🏽
wogan
we haven't talked
in forever
i mith u baby
elias and i broke
up
i wish you were still
here b :(
why what happened?
like is it for fr tho
yea :/
i told him i slept
with my ex
logan ...
no not while i was
with him
oh okay, that makes it
better
he can't be mad at you though
unless you two took a break
we never knew about
no, it was before him an i
got together
well then why is he mad?
bc he's asked if i
have ever slept with anyone
before and i told him no
why lie?
—
"emi," i call out her name as i lay on her surprisingly clean floor "you cleaned up?"
"yea, i got bored. it was mostly clothes anyways" she blows out the smoke from her puff bar
emi can be good when she wants, i feel like she's only good when no one is pressuring her. when her parents aren't telling her she's a fuck up constantly.
"i'm sad, are you sad?" i simply ask her "cause you know we can be sad together"
"nope, i'm happy. for once, i've been like this since october and it's now the second week into november it's going good" she explains "why are you sad? is billie mad again, cause at this point i'm fed up. mads she's gets mad at the dumbest shit"
"no she isn't mad. i'm just overthinking maybe?" i roll off my back and onto my side giving her a confused look "i tried talking to logan about it but her and eli are going through some shit so i couldn't plus she didn't text back"
"logan is in her world, i think she makes time for what she wants and it just so happens not to be us"
she had a point.
"eh i guess"
"why are you overthinking?"
she lays next to be on the floor and holds my hand. we're staring up at her tapestries that she put on her ceiling.
in a lot of ways emi reminds me of billie. their minds are crazy, i always fantasize what goes on in there. it's something i'd never personally question them about. then, there's also the fact that they both give off the i don't give a fuck impression but in reality they do.
"billie wants me to meet her family"
"so what's the big deal? you should be happy that it's finally happening"
should i?
"but as a friend" i sigh "they know she has a thing for girls but not that she has a girlfriend"
"i mean you're still meeting them though, so therefore it shouldn't matter if you have the label girlfriend"
"you think?"
"i think it's more of a personally thing i guess. if sebas wanted to tell his mom i was just a friend i'd be fine with it cause i know what's real"
"yea but em i don't think you're getting the point"
"what's the point?" she ghost the smoke in her mouth
"the point is, if you're married and your significant others goes around say oh that's my friend then–"
she quickly cuts me off "for one you aren't married, two wouldn't your friends be at the wedding"
"i think you're missing the whole fucking idea. i want her parents to think i'm a great girl for their daughter"
"then tell billie that"
"i can't" i groan "it's not that easy"
"well then all this shit is constantly gonna run through that tiny head of yours"
"it's not tiny, shut up" i nudge her shoulder "i love her and i guess that's all that should matter"
"exactly"
—
thoughts on this chap??
i kid u not this is how felt about this
girl
have a good day <3 it's 8am and i'm
going hiking today
