hi, try to figure out songs i
used in the this chapter
also i think i'm getting my belly
button pierced i'm excited!
madisons pov
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no matter how much i try with billie, there's always those days where i am getting ignored. when the time is right she tells me things. i think we're gonna be okay, i pray that we will.
it's like we argue and break up, but then make up and make love. i know it's easy to love me though, i don't see what i do to get ignored. then again i get it i can't get mad about the situation, people express feelings differently, hers just happens to be distancing.
my last relationship or whatever you'd call it, was a disaster. what destiny and i had was so bad for me and i hope billie isn't doing the same. but it's like every month the same accusation pop up and i don't get why. the trust on her end is never there.
i truly believe what bil is telling me about que and her is true. he knows his place, they're friends. i wish she'd believe me when i say the same about bella, because that's truly all we ever are. in the beginning of the school year bella and i kissed, well pecked lips simply as a joke.
it was more of a "shut up, i'll kiss you" thing. then also we hooked up but that's cause i let my past get the best of me. i wouldn't say i regret what we did, because it was good but i do regret doing it while bil and i talked. i could never tell billie what we did because of the fact she already doesn't like bella too well. at least i can say i never lied about my feelings towards her, i've never seen bella in the way billie thinks i do.
despite my past, i can't help my attraction towards billie. she's nothing like the last ones. i've fallen for her and haven't gotten up since, although i think she has. i've never gotten jealous or broken her trust over the fact i get ignored or whatever the case my be. she's given me everything i ever wanted.
it's like dating my ex boyfriend but in more exciting ways. i'm never bored with billie, our dates may be repetitive but something new is always added. i wish she could say fuck everyone and run away with me, so we could fall in love. i wish we could tell everyone we're in love.
i can't hide the fact i'm in love with her. whenever we're in public i always find a way to touch her, either i'm leaning on her or hitting her when she's uncomfortable with me showing too much pda. i just wanna fill all her desires, like no one else could.
i wish she could tell me to cut bella out my life, cause we never really decided. sometimes i've distanced myself from her so i can show billie i'm really about her but i don't think it ever worked.
it's the middle of january and lately it's been too much. i've just been waiting, and been patient. i never know what's on her mind, cause it's hard to read her. i know love doesn't come easily especially when i'm loving her. i never knew it'd be so hard. we had it all but lost and that's our fault.
we haven't been doing well, that's difference between heaven and hell. i feel heaven every time she's here with me and hell every time she's leave. if i had it my way, she'd know she's all i'm going to need in the end and vice versa. if life was a movie she's definitely the best part.
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imessage
ma bubby <3👩❤️💋👩
hey
hi pretty
wyd
