Then There Was You

XIX

Enough is enough.
I decided I was going to enjoy the rest of my time left. And to do that, I had to stop my constant fretting over the two men that had previously occupied my thoughts.
I spent the next three weeks focused on no one but me. And I had fun.
I made new friends and seen the sights Dublin had to offer. I'd fallen in love with the city and its people. It felt very much like a second home to me.

My relationship with Henry had grown more stable. His mood was much more consistent with me now; friendly, playful, but always careful. He still kept a safe distance, but we slowly became friends again. Our on screen romance blossomed as our friendship grew. Everyone- especially me- was glad that we had worked out our differences, and our chemistry had returned.
Again, my body responded the same way it did the first time he kissed me. Our last sex scene was just as intense as the first. But I could tell he was trying to keep himself under control. Just like he had promised, he didn't get an erection.

And just like that. My six weeks were up.
They somehow felt like the longest weeks of my life, but it also felt over far too soon.
It was my last day on set. I was trying my best not to mope. I didn't want it to be over.
"Well done Lara," the director had hugged me, "You were so easy to work with- Thank you."
I had to hold back tears as I thanked him, the cast and the crew. Saying goodbye to Henry was going to be impossible. I didn't even know where to start. What to say? Thank you for coming into my life and turning it upside down? I'm going to miss the way my heart flutters when you touch me? Have a nice life?

Of course, I said none of these things.
We stood awkwardly in front of each other, our faces and positions a comical mirror of each other; hands clasped in front of our bodies, eyes mostly looking anywhere but at each other. And when we did look at each other, we giggled stupidly.
"I'm going to miss you," he finally said. I was too frightened to look at him, scared I'd loose control and blurt out something stupid.
"Me too," I was playing it safe. Keeping my eyes on his shoes.
"Maybe we'll see each other again one day? You know how work just throws people unexpectedly in your path," his voice is playful, but it feels like his words hold a different meaning to them. I look up at him shyly, very briefly, blushing when his eyes lock with mine.

I felt suddenly and overwhelmingly depressed.
After everything we'd been through, this was not the goodbye I had imagined for us. I forgot my fears and apprehension then, and looked up at him. If this was the last time I was going to look at him, I was going to make sure I enjoyed it. My eyes trying to commit every detail of his exquisite face to memory. I didn't care if I was staring, I could see his expression change; alarmed at the sudden intensity of my gaze. I let my eyes run over his glorious body, remembering how wonderful it felt to touch his naked skin. I let the emotions flow freely, savouring each breath taking one, for the last time. Closing my eyes and let myself be burned by the intensity of them. I knew that I would never feel anything like this again.

When I finally opened my eyes, he had taken a step closer to me, his expression pained. His tortured eyes boring down into my face. Hesitantly, he reached his hand up. I froze in place, holding my breath. With deliberate slowness, he gently stroked my cheekbone, my skin blazing under his touch. Then with a touch as light as a moths wing, he twisted a lock of my hair in his fingers, stroked it and then put it back with the rest. Did he know how wonderful that felt? I never wanted this moment to end. But it had to.

The whole time I watched his eyes, seeing the passion behind them burn and then eventually quieten. "Bye Lara," the longing in his voice was staggering.
"Bye," I said breathlessly, trying and failing to settle myself back into a natural rhythm.
And then he smiled at me, the sight of it almost broke my heart, and then he left.
I watched him, in awe of his beauty and grace, as he walked out of sight. My eyes lingering on the set of his broad, strong shoulders, his thick dark hair.