Then There Was You

VIII

"Please be safe!" My mum says for the hundredth time as I try to leave my home. "Text me every night!"
"I will mum, I promise."
She eventually releases me from a bear hug and my dad helps me out to James' car with my bags. I might be small, but that in no way means I pack light.
I wave my family goodbye until we turn the corner at the end of my street, and they disappear from sight.

James is quiet on the drive to the airport. He usually is in the morning but there's something about his silence that makes me feel uneasy. After five minutes of trying to start a conversation, I eventually give up and look out the window instead.
I was trying my best not to be sad. I could feel something had changed, and I knew it was only going to get worse.
We arrive at Glasgow airport and he helps me in with my luggage. He stays with me until we reach security. Only ticket holders can go on from here. He stops and takes my hands in his. He looks down at me, his eyes full of affection.
"I'm going to miss you," he says.
"I'll call you every day," I say.
"You'll be too busy for that. Just be safe and call me when you can," he says gruffly.
I nod. I can feel the tears start to swim in my eyes and speaking always makes it worse.
He gently takes my head in his hands, brushes my cheekbone with his finger and then crushes his mouth on mine.
I'm taken aback by the sheer force and intensity of it. I can barely breathe.
And then suddenly it's over.
"Go Lara, you don't want to miss your flight," and then he walks away from me. Leaving me standing there staring at his retreating form. He doesn't look back.

Thankfully, the flight isn't a long one. In one hour I'll be in Dublin. But an hour was still more than enough time for my mind to dwell on James. There was something strange about his kiss. He'd never kissed me like that before. It felt as if he was kissing me like he would never get to kiss me again. It felt like goodbye.
I shuddered and pushed the thought away.
Looking for a distraction, I pulled out my copy of Jane Eyre from my bag, and quickly lost myself in the pages of eighteenth century England.

It was raining in Dublin, much to my dismay. For someone who was used to the harsh climate of Scotland, you'd think I'd be used to the rain by now. But it never did fail to dampen my mood. Someone was waiting for me at the airport. They held up one those signs you see in movies all the time, except this one had my name on it. His eyes widened slightly as he took in my many bags, but loaded them into his vehicle nonetheless. It was a short drive to our hotel. Dublin looked much like Scotland in some ways. Except the people here were much friendlier, and their accents were way better.

Our hotel was nice. Four stars on trip advisor. And it had a spa, which much to my delight I had free access to- As long I booked a slot.
My room was huge. It was one of those hotel rooms that had a living room and a kitchen, as well as the expected bed and bathroom.
I slumped down heavily on the king size bed and looked around. Nothing here was familiar. I felt suddenly overwhelmed and out of place. I let a few tears slip down my cheeks, as I allowed myself an hour or so to be sad.

I was barely thirty minutes into my crying sesh when my door knocked loudly. "Who is it?" I called in the direction of the door, my voice cracking slightly. I felt suddenly afraid and very aware that I was alone.
"It's Erica! I found out what room you're in from reception."
Erica? I hastily wiped my face with the back of my sleeve. "Uh, one minute!" I called, as I adjusted myself in the mirror.
I took a deep breath, plastered a smile on my face and opened the door. Her face fell as she took me in.
"Have you been crying?" She asked, worry clear in her voice. I dropped the fake smile immediately and nodded. She tutted but pulled me in for a hug, her head in line with my mouth. She really was tiny.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked. I invited her into my room. She was sitting on the bed next to me.
"Not really."
"That's alright!" She chirped. "Would you like to do something that might cheer you up?"
"Hmmm... Maybe. What do you have in mind?"
"Some of us are going exploring and out for dinner tonight. Do you wanna come?" She looked up at me eagerly, her big brown eyes full of hope.
"How could I say not to that offer?"
"Yes! Now go wash your face and get changed!"
I did as I was told. I felt much better after I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I quickly changed into black skinny jeans, black knee high boots, and a fitting white blouse that buttoned up the front. I completed the look with my black raincoat.
"See! You look like a new woman!" Erica exclaimed, which earned a small laugh from me. She was right though. This is exactly what I needed.

The night passed in a happy blur.
I learned that Erica was offered a small role as a priests wife. She would be here for two weeks. It was great relief to not be here entirely alone, and the more time I spent with her, the more I could see us really becoming good friends. She was fun, kind and completely selfless.

Her friends she introduced me to were nice as well. We all walked back to the hotel together about 8pm. It wasn't only myself that had a tough day, and it was starting to take its toll on all of us. I was trying my best to fight a yawn as we entered the hotel lobby. Mike and Sarah said goodbye first, which left just me and Erica in the hallway.
"I'm on the first floor," she said.
"Erica, thank you for tonight. You're a good friend," I say to her, giving her tiny hand a squeeze.
"So are you Lara. I can tell we're going to get along great." She hugged me and headed off along the corridor to her room.

Sighing happily, I make my way towards the elevator and push the button for the tenth floor. Elevator rides always make me feel queasy. I hold onto the side as it slowly makes its ascent. The doors finally ping open, I'm too busy trying to get out of the thing, that I almost barge right into the person in front of me.
"Oh, sorry," I say apologetically. I look up to smile at them and my heart almost stops.
It's him.
He's dressed in dark blue jeans and he has on a black raincoat. His dark hair looks artfully messy. His eyes light up with amusement as he takes in my expression.
"Hi Lara," his voice sounds deeper than I remember.

I want to respond but I can't make my lips move. We stand there staring at each other wordlessly for what feels like forever. Long enough for the elevator door to start to close back over. He stops it with his boot and gets in. The elevator isn't what I would call small, but he takes up a lot of the room, making it very difficult not to be aware of how close he was.
"Aren't you getting out?" He asks innocently. I nod my head and quickly jump out, glad to put a bit of space between us. I turn back to wave goodbye just at the elevator door starts to close again. But he stops it again, this time with his hand. He looks at me for what feels like an eternity, his blue eyes taking me in head to toe and then settling back to my eyes.
"Goodnight, Lara," he finally says, and he lets go of the door.
"Night," I barely manage in time before the elevator door swoops firmly shut. I let out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. For a wild moment, I thought I was going to faint. The wall spins slightly as I try to hold onto it for support.

Breathe, I order myself. I lean against the wall until my heart and breathing regain its normal rhythm. Satisfied that I wasn't going to faint, I slowly make my way back to my room.
Henry must be on this floor too. I wonder which rooms his?
No, don't think of him.
Once inside my room, I flop onto bed, fully dressed, and fall very quickly asleep.
The last thing I remember seeing is blue eyes, and then I sink into them like a deep and bottomless ocean.