Love you,Mom

Chapter:14:The long goodbye

Emily's POV

I was in an ethereal state. My mind was awake but my body wasn't. I could hear the doctor's voice and the machine's beeping sound monitoring my heart beat, but it was hard to decipher from the ringing in my ears.

Where is Allen right now? What is she doing? Is she crying? Can I go back from this state or will I breathe my last breath?

I did whatever in my power to spend the limited amount of time I had in happiness. With Allen. With my parents. But lying down in bed at the mercy of my curse which still hasn't taken me away, I realised it wasn't enough. The time that I spent with them wasn't enough. It'd never be enough. There were still things that I wanted to do with Allen. 

Will she be alright when I leave? Will she miss me? A thousand thoughts rushed through my mind. Thoughts that never even dared to come to my mind before.

How was Hayden doing? Does he even remember us? Or did he take a new wife? Will he ever know that I'm no longer alive? Will he bother to know? 

No matter how many times I deny it. No matter how I want to suppress it, it's true I loved that man. Loved him enough to leave my family for him.

Did mom forgive me for it? Will my parents be okay after I leave? I was their only daughter. They raised me with care. And I'll have to leave them, once again.

My thoughtswere put to a halt as I slowly drifted off to another deep sleep.

Allen's POV

It'd been an hour since they took mum in the ICU. I haven't heard of her condition since then. It was an agonizing hour. My mum was in the ICU fighting death and I couldn't do anything.

After sobbing for a long time, Granny finally stopped. Grandpa was just staring blankly at the white hospital walls.

How did it even get to this point? Couldn't it be treated? Can't it be treated now?

"Gramps, is this the only way?" My voice was hoarse from all the crying.

"The only way for what sweetie?"

"Can't we do anything? Let's take her to a more developed hospital. Maybe they'll be able to help?"

"I-It can't be done, Allen."

"What do you mean it can't be done? We can at least...at least try." Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. 

"It's stage 4 cancer. It can't be treated anymore. The doctors have also said that it already  r-reached her brain." Grandpa said with a tired voice.

"How could it reach so far without a single person knowing? I mean there'll be symptoms right? Maybe the doctors are just mistaken. Maybe she just had a..heat stroke?" I tried to reason with the limited amount of knowledge I had. It was more to make myself understand than Grandpa.

"She knew it all along. Yet, she did nothing. All because of you." Granny suddenly stood up from sitting. She pointed at me. "All because of y-you."

"Because of me?" I asked. She knew it all along but didn't tell me? Is it because I hated her?

"Yes! Because of you. She didn't want to get any treatment because she thought it was expensive. She thought it wouldn't do any good to her. She left all she had for you. Only for you!"

I crashed on the floor. She did it for me? She thought it was so expensive for her treatment, she kept her illness to herself. All for me. Why? If she took treatment, if she lived, we could've built everything together again. I'd at least have her by my side. Now, she was in a coma according to the doctors. They don't know if they can save her. It's all down to our luck now, they said.

My eyes started to become blurry with all the tears. Memories came flooding. How many times did I yell at her? How many times did I made her cry?

Even when she was dying, she thought of me. And I let her down. Every damn time. I let her down.

Author's POV 

The hallway suddenly became silent except for the occasional people and hospital stuff passing by. Ria felt suffocated. The hospital reeked of death. How many people came here only to never leave alive? Will her daughter too...no she'd to stay optimistic. Her daughter was strong. If Emily could manage to leave her parents to start a new life with a man she loved only to have him leave her, raise a daughter all by herself, knowing she'd a grave illness and still smiling through all of this, she can survive this too. Yes, she'll survive, she'll win this fight.

Ria looked down at Allen, reduced to a lifeless shell on the floor, with streaks of tears still trailing their way through her cheeks. She felt guilty. She shouldn't have lashed out on Allen like that. She was a child after all.

Ria slowly made her way to Allen. She placed her palm on top of Allen's head. Allen looked up.

"Sorry, Allen. I-I was just so broken thinking about what would happen to...to Emi, that I lost all sense. I know you are suffering too. You loved her too. And what she did was only a mother's instinct to keep her child well."

"I-I don't understand Granny. Why? Why now of all times? When I finally started to express  my feelings. Why?"

"Life is unpredictable, sweetie. You never know. You can only hope you'd live to see the next day. Nothing more."

"But she didn't have to do this. She couldv'e treated herself. Her life came first. And yet she....she chose me."

"As I told you, a mother is always a selfless person. You'll know when you become a mother yourself one day." 

Allen started to bawl. Ria slowly took Allen in her arms. She was never the consoling type. All she knew to do was to be strict, the consoling part was always left to George. Even when Emily cried her eyes out, Ria wouldn't ever even try to stop her. It was always George who took that role. 

Ria watched George with the corner of her eyes. The man had bags under his eyes. Although he was pretending he was fine, in reality he was breaking internally. Emily was a blessing in his life after ten years of struggling with infertility. She brought light in his life, and now that light is in the verge of being taken away. George never felt so helpless, so useless. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. He wanted to break down in tears, but he couldn't. He had to stay strong for the sake of Ria, for the sake of Allen and for the sake of Emily. 

A doctor came out of the ICU. George hoped for the best. But the doctor's facial expression didn't say so. The doctor slowly looked down at Ria and Allen on the floor.

"Ria, Allen." George called out.

Ria raised her head and released a still sobbing Allen from her embrace. Both of them stood up.

"Doctor?" Allen asked. She was tightly clutching Ria's hand. Ria placed her other free hand on Allen's hand in an attempt to protect both of them from the news that the doctor held.

" Excuse me, are you Emily Leandre's father?" The doctor approched George.

"Y-yes. I'm. Any news on her condition, doctor?"

"I've been doing this job for 25 years but still I find it hard to do this part." The doctor sighed.

"D-doctor? My daughter? She's fine, right?" Ria's voice broke.

"I gravely apologise to you, but your daughter Emily Leandre is no more."