Love you,Mom

Chapter-13:A Bleeding heart

Love you,mom.

Have you guys ever looked at the sky, feeling free and suffocated at the same time? Thinking about how far the sky is, yet how close it is to us at the same time? I want to touch it,reach it. But Alas! Ethereal Beauty are untouchable. They are just for eyes to behold from afar. Admiring it from afar is all we can do.

This is how Allen felt today.

The day started as normal as it can ever  be, Allen woke up to the sound of her mother's voice.

"Allen,honey. Let's go for a walk." my mum suggested as I blinked open my sleepy eyes.

Allen's pov

I let my brain function as I stared at her for a few moments, telling my brain 'chop chop, its time to rise and shine'.

As I comprehend her words silently, I simply noded at her.

My mum left wordlessly,and went downstairs. I jumped out of bed, got ready, tied my hair into the best and only hair style I could do, a high ponytail.

Glancing at the mirror,I assessed my appearance. I looked... happy. I felt happy. I smiled at my reflection and quickly went downstairs to see my grandma cooking breakfast.

"Hola Granny." I waved at her enthusiastically.

"Hola? Young lady,is that how you should greet your elders?" She reprimanded me and I rolled my eyes knowing well that she's not looking at me.

"Yes Allen,treat her like one of those 18th century Snobby grandmas. Say " Greetings thy mother's mother,what a wonderful day today is! Isn't it?" My grandpa remarked at my grandma taking his eyes off of the newspaper. 

My grandma viciously glared at her as I crackled like a maniac at the background. 

"Come on, Papi. Mom isn't that bad." My mum commented as she entered the dining room.

All of us,including grandma looked at her direction and raised our brows at her.

"Unexpected,but I'm glad you have some sense left in you after all." My grandma commented and moved on to focus on her "artistic pancakes".

After breakfast,we all went out for a walk. It's the first time we all went out together. Normally its only me and grandma in afternoon. But today is different.  The nature all around us is smiling with flowers and fresh air. This small country village has its own beauty.

I clicked many pictures,  which mostly consisted of my grandparents bickering and my mum staring at their antics, them laughing, my grandpa running away from my grandma after making an inappropriate remark.

As we came across a small pond, we decided to rest there for a moment. 
"Allen,come here. Look, the water is so cold." My mum said as she settled her bare legs in the pond. She looked so cute.  I quickly snapped a picture and settled beside her.

"Allen,don't I look happy today?"

My mind stopped working at the sudden question before I answered "Yes mum.  You look very happy.  Maybe we should've come here sooner huh? I like to see you smile. It's so rare." I honestly stated and her eyes sparkled at my words,hanging onto my every word.

"You should smile more Allen. Life is empty without it. Live the moment honey. It's only once that we get to live,get to breathe,look at beautiful smile like yours and love someone like you."

My eyes almost watered as I heard her words. 

"Mum, since when are you so sappy?!" I exclaimed.  Acting as if I'm disgusted.   

"Mm. Let's see,since the day you were born?"

I rolled my eyes at her and she just smiled at me. Our trance got broken by a sudden snap from my camera.

"Grandpa!" I chided him.

I walked over to grandma. Both of us complaining about grandpa and his childish antics. Just then a gasp escaped my mother's mouth. She clenched her chest,as if she had problem breathing. Her face twisted as if she's in intense pain.

I quickly ran over to her. I held her shaking body in mine. "Mum!"
I profusely called her,but her eyes rolled back in pain.

There was a hint of a smile in her face. She tried to reach out to touch my face,but then she gasped in pain and fainted in my arms.

Everything that happened next was a blur. We were rushing through the hospital corridor, taking her to ICU. Just as she went into the room, I ran over to my grandpa who was doing the paper work with tearful eyes.

"Grandpa! Grandpa! What happened to her?! " I exclaimed and he just shook his head at me and walked away. I walked back to my grandma,who was sitting in one of the  benches. Her eyes looked as if she was fearful of the worst. "Grandma,what happened to her?"

My grandma was in a trance,thousand miles away from me. From my cries,from my bleeding heart. I shook her body. She just passed me the papers she had in her hands.

"Read it." she simply told,before she broke out into a heavy sob.

Read it? R-Read it?!

In my heart wrenching state,unconsciously I tried to read it. But everything was blurry. The letters were weird. I can't make out anything.  My head pounded as I looked at it.

My dyslexia is keeping me from knowing the truth. I don't think I have ever hated being dyslexic as much as I have today.

My hands shook making the paper fall from my hand. My grandma was continuously sobbing beside me.

As a nurse came out,I approached her. Expecting an answer.

"What happened to her?!" I asked her with a shaking voice, she just passed me some papers and walked away.

Papers! Papers! Why is everyone passing me a freaking piece of paper?! Are they making fun of me?! Taking advantage of my own disadvantage?!

My hands almost crumpled the papers as a pair of wrinkled hands rested on top of mine.

My Grandpa gently took the paper from my hand and rested his other hand on my shoulder.

"Allen. She's -" his voice broke as if he's in pain.

"She's what? What happened to her? Why wont you just tell me?!" I exclaimed as his body shook beside me.

"She's dying. She has lung cancer."

WHAT?! I tried to yell,but it was as if i lost my voice. Every single cell in my body shivered as I heard those words. Every single hair on my body stood up.

Why didn't she tell me?! Why? Am I not worthy to know about THIS?! Does she not care about me?!

My heart bled with intense pain. My body shook,drained of all energy, I fell on the floor. And then a tear drop shed down my face,then another and then another. Countless tear drops shed but nothing represented my bleeding heart.

Just when I got her,I'm losing her. Why is life so cruel? Why?