Lucky Little Me (New just my luck book 2)

Chapter 12

I took a seat on the sofa and glanced around the room nervously. It was a decent sized room with a desk in the middle along with a rug two sofas and a plant. The walls were a deep grey and there was art work hanging up, made it seem more of an office than a therapy session, which was nice.

"Its okay to be nervous Amara." Miss Flock said with a small laugh. "We aren't going to discuss anything outside of your comfort level. Its all about you." I nodded, biting my bottom lip.

"Where do we start though?"

"Wherever you want. Tell me what's going on, why you booked the session." There were a lot of reasons I booked the session, how did i go about explaining everything in just one hour?

"In order to understand what happened, you need to know the whole story." She just nodded, pulling out. A note book.

"Would it bother you if i take notes? I usually do it after the session, but usually for the first session I like to take notes during, just small details to help me remember things for alter session." She asked, I shrugged. I didn't mind, all of my life was basically plastered on news outlets anyways.

"i don't mind."

"Okay, lets get started then. Go ahead and begin wherever you want and I will ask questions if need be to fill myself in." I nodded and took a deep breathe, looking around once more before beginning.

I told her about how I lied to the world about Grey Thomas, and how I ended up falling in love with him and actually getting into a relationship. I explained about my ex, how he had been stalking me for the past few years but never actually made any attempts to hurt me until recently.

I told her about my baby, and how I freaked out when i found out I was pregnant, and then how Michael really came after me. I explained my friends and how they helped me and school and everything in between. Before I knew it, half an hour was already up.

"So what happened with Michael, where is he now?" She finally asked, the one question i knew we needed to discuss but the only question I didn't want to answer.

"He- He is dead." I gulped. "He came after me with a knife one day while I was at school. We didn't even now he escaped until minutes before. Grey called me and told me to stay where I was, that he was coming to pick me up....but it was to late." I felt tears rush to my eyes.

"I turned around and he was there, with a gun. I don't know how, I guess it was instinct. But I disarmed him and, and." I stopped, sucking in air. I felt like I was reliving the moment, it wasn't that long ago that I had murdered someone, and it was still having an effect on me.  "He stabbed me, I didn't see the knife in time and he pulled it and he stabbed my baby."

She pulled out a box of tissues when she saw m start crying and handed it to me. "Take your time." She nodded, jotting down some notes.

"I'm fine, its okay." I nodded, wiping my eyes and nose quickly before wading it up in my hand. I was rocking back and forth slightly, i barley even noticed it until now. "That's when they showed up. Grey and them." Heat rushed to my face as I remember seeing how Grey looked.

"What did they do?"

"Nothing, they couldn't, he stabbed me. I remember laying there, thinking i was going to die, thinking that, I couldn't let him hurt Grey. All of this happened because of me. So....I shot him. I held the gun up and I pulled the trigger and I killed him. I'm a murderer." I felt myself break out into sobs.

I had been denying it for months, but it was true. I had killed him, it was my fault and his blood was on my hands.

"You defended yourself." She corrected. Closing her book and sitting up> We were almost out of time, and we still had so much to cover. "Do you still see him, every time you close your eyes, when the lights go off?" She asked.

My eyes widened slightly, she knew? How could she know, I hadn't told anyone about that. The haunting face that was still there in my nightmares, still seeing his shadow when I turned the lights off.

"Its a normal reaction Mari. You may have pulled the trigger, but his death was not your fault. Neither was the death of your baby. I think we have a lot to cover over the next few sessions. I would like to do one a week if thats okay with you?" She asked. I nodded, pulling my bottom lip into my mouth as I grabbed another tissue.

"is it ever gonna get better?" My words barely came out. It seemed foreign to me, like it wasn't me sitting here but I was standing in the corner watching.

"Eventually. We have a lot to unpack, but this is a good start. for the week i want you to focus on something else, something you have coming up that you're excited about." I didn't have anything coming up. I had Grey coming home hopefully tonight or tomorrow, but that was it. And if he wasn't coming home tonight then i was going over to Lakens to spend the night.

"okay." I nodded.

"I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that you're back in school now. You think everything will resume as if it never happened. My goal with therapy is for you to get comfortable talking about it, eventually you will come to understand that your life will be different from now on, its not going to go back to normal and you're going to have to create a new normal. Don't push people out of your life, no one will know what we talked about today unless you tell them, everything is confidential."

I nodded, locking my fingers together. Time was up.

"Anything else you need to discuss today?" She asked as I shook my head. This wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Nothing like the movies, laying down and just talking while they listen, granted she did listen. "This will get easier with time I promise." She nodded as I stood up.

"thank you." I bit my lip.

"Of course, why don't we reschedule for next week and we will go from there?" i nodded again as she stood up. We walked out of the office and towards the front door. "Go ahead and talk to my secretary and set up next week and I will give you a call to remind you okay?"

~~

I got in my car and started it. Laken offered to drive me today and just sit in the parking lot, but I wanted to do this alone. It was something personal, something I wanted to do alone.

I pulled out my phone and hit call, holding it to my ear. "Hey baby, how was it?" Grey asked answering the phone. He knew what time I was going in so he was expecting a call when I got out.

"Interesting, different than I thought it was going to be." i was still wiping my eyes but I wasn't crying anymore so that was a start.

"That's great. Are you going back?" I nodded, using the end of my sleeve to wipe my eyes again.

"Yeah for the next few weeks. What time are you coming home?" I asked sitting back in my seat and praying it was tonight. I didn't want to go another night with out him.

"I got out a flight out late tonight, but it wont be landing until around 1 am so Ill be home about 1:30 maybe two depending on how busy the airport is." I let out a sigh of relief. It was going to be late but I wasn't going to be alone tonight.

"okay, I will see you tonight then." It was already six, i would just have to keep myself occupied for a couple of hours, i should probably do homework while I'm at it.

"i will see you tonight baby. I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled and hit end.

I quickly called Seth to make sure he was going to be at the flat tonight just so i wasn't stuck there alone til Grey got home. When I knew he was already there I took off down the road, heading onto the interstate and towards the flat.
_________

this one is kind of longer, which is good. idk I liked it.