Apocalyptic Chaos

Chapter 42: Theodore Cadwell

So I, a meme god, was chilling on the sofa when one competitor, Apple brought in some small fennec fox boi into the room. First, it was the Game Master bringing some messed up creatures into the Casino, and now this. However, I wasn't going to judge. I even became bros with this raccoon named Swiper and his homie, Winnie the bear. At least before that guy got the life yeeted out of him. Plus, the competitors, Madoka and Reggie are freaking out over him and I don't want to be vibe checked. Thankfully, the Game Master started the game before I said something that would end me.

"I GOTTA GO FAST!" I yelled as I naruto ran past the other contestants.

I ran down the hallway like a mad lad, looking for a place to hide. Everyone just ran in different directions. It was like that one scene from Ratatouille when the humans come into the kitchen and all the rats go into different directions. I climbed on top of the washing machine and I crawled through the air vent and I was crawling through the vents when I noticed two other dudes in the air vents and thought I never met those guys before.

They just looked at me with an expression that said 'Who the heck does he think he is?'. I just told you who I thought I was, I thought, A GOD!

"Hello, updog!" I said.

"What's updog?" One of them asked.

I smirked," Nothing, what's up with you?"

The guy next to him started snickering as the first one realized what just happened.

"I like this dude already." He said, starting to smile a little.

"Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well." I responded," I am Theodore, but you can call me a meme god."

"Well, I am Timmy," The second one started," And this guy who just fell for the old updog trick is Jimmy."

"Finally! A worthy opponent!" Jimmy shouted," Our battle will be legendary!"

"I will defeat you like how I defeated Captain America." I replied.

"How did you beat Captain America?"

"I shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he's an idiot."

He smiled even more at that vine reference," Bro..."

"Bro..." Timmy continued.

"WE FOUND A FIFTH MEMBER FOR THE HOLY TRINITY OF MEMES"

"Ah, yes, the holy trinity of memes." Timmy said, looking like he was reliving fond memories," Well, do we let him join?"

"Of course we do, Chicken little."

Timmy got (jokingly) angry at that statement," STOP CALLING ME CHICKEN LITTLE. HE IS DUMB AND A COWARD AND I AM NOT A COWARD!"

I started to laugh a bit," Yo bro, what do you want to eat after this?"

"The souls of the innocent..." Jimmy answered.

"A bagel." Timmy responded.

"NO!"

"Two bagels."

We were just laughing our butts off until we noticed the sound of several seekers nearby.

"I'm pretty sure I heard some noise coming from here." One said.

I suddenly got an idea and smirked at the two guys.

Suddenly, I shouted from the air vents," DO YOU KNOW DA WAE!?"

We burst into another fit of suppressed laughter as the seekers looked around frantically, trying to find us. Unfortunately for them, we had secured the high ground and they had no chance.

"I KNOW THE WAY!" The seeker cried in annoyance.

"You fool!" Timmy shouted," You do not know da wae!"

The seekers seemed even more frustrated and we couldn't stop laughing.

"Come out and face us, cowards!" The other one shouted, obviously trying to make us come out by insulting our pride.

What those fools didn't know was we had no pride (Or self-control).

We started quoting vines at them and while one started looking pissed off, the other seemed to be trying not to laugh.

"Let's just try somewhere else." The dead-beat seeker said," C'mon."

The other one looked sad," But these guys are awesome! I don't care if we don't find some competitors, I don't get paid enough to do this crap anyway!"

"WELCOME TO THE DARK SIDE!" Timmy shouted.

The dead-beat seeker then turned up to the ceiling, where the air vents were," THEY'RE IN THE AIR VENTS!"

"They're in the trees!" The other one shouted

We started climbing through the air ducts as the rude seeker started climbing up towards them.

As a last-ditch effort to screw with them, I shouted," See you on the flip side my fine brotato chip!"

"Farewell!" Our new friend shouted and we started climbing through the ducts as fast as we could.

I climbed on top of one of the grates and then suddenly fell through, along with Jimmy and Timmy.

"We got you now!" The rude seeker yelled and he tagged us.

We were taken to a room where they kept all the other competitors, which was about 7 there. Timmy and Jimmy ran up to one guy in the room.

"HEY, THEODORE!" Jimmy shouted," We would like to introduce you to one of the members of the Holy Trinity of Memes, Duck!"

The guy stood up from his chair with a look of sorrow.

"Hey, Duck, where's MM?" Timmy asked.

Duck had tears forming in his eyes," He... didn't make it past the zombie raid."

"I am so sorry..." Jimmy responded," I got you, bro."

He and Timmy hugged Duck as he let the tears flow down his cheeks. I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Listen, bro," I started," I don't know who you or MM are, but I want to tell you, this MM guy is in a better place, one where he could make all the memes he wants, and he's with Vine. I want you to know that he will always be your homie and he will keep on vibing in your heart."

Duck looked at me," Thanks... even though I don't know you at all... thanks for the good vibes."

"Bro, you didn't deserve to be vibe checked in the feels."

"Bro..."

"Bro..."

"No homo"

We all sat down on the chairs in the room and started to reference vines and memes to cheer Duck up. For once in my life, I finally had a family of meme lords.

I had finally found a home.

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This whole chapter was made as a spur of the moment decision and I'm pretty sure at least one of us was high writing it.

Honestly, Theodore's whole character is just Tumblr incarnate.

This chapter chock full of Vine references and I've finally introduced the character I've been waiting to introduce for literally forever. The actual title we had for this chapter was "3 bros, chilling in an air vent, 1 foot apart 'cuz there's no space". But, now that Theodore canonically exists, I can start posting more quotes! 

Hooray!

This chapter won't age well and three years someone is going to read this and wonder what sort of dead language we were speaking in I swEAr.

-Writer boi