Thorn in my side

Lets Talk

Violet's POV

Once I got to the boys house, I parked the car and took a deep breath. Truth be told I was scared to have this conversation with Roman. I was going to lay everything on the table, this very well could be our last conversation. While I was driving Roman had texted me back saying he would be waiting for my call.

I got out of the car and headed inside, then grabbed a bottle of wine and headed to Roman's room and sat on the bed. I took a long drink of wine straight from the bottle then hit Roman's contact name and the phone began to ring.

Roman picked up immediately but didn't say anything, I could tell he was expecting me to speak first." We need to talk Roman. First, I'd like to apologize for earlier today. You had a genuine concern and I just got angry, so instead of you talking about how you felt you just said something that you thought I wanted to hear. That's right isn't it?.." I asked softly and Roman was quite for a few moments.

"Yes, I told you I overreacted because I could tell you were getting angry and when you're angry all logic flies out the window with you." He admitted.

"How did you really feel about the situation? Don't sugarcoat it for me, I'll keep my emotions in check." I said softly while mentally taking a deep breath.

"The situation sucks Violet. How do you think it made me feel seeing Andrade's hand touching a part of you that only I should be touching. I'm glad you told him to stop and I believe that you did. However that doesn't make me any less hurt and angry but my anger isn't directed at you, it's directed at him." Roman replied truthfully.

"You're right. His hand shouldn't of been there and quite frankly I didn't want it there. The only person I want touching my pussy is my Samoan Superman." I said as I was trying to keep a level head and actually have an adult conversation with Roman.

"Why do you always have to lose your temper? I always feel like I can't talk to you seriously because the moment you get angry you act like a five year old." Roman said and I could tell from his tone of voice he had been holding that question in for awhile. I took a long drink of wine and mentally took a deep breath to keep myself calm.

"All my life, I've always been the scapegoat. I would always get thrown under the bus and blamed for everything. To the point that I often times don't know when I'm straight up getting blamed for a situation or someone is trying to ask me a question. I naturally respond with anger because it's my defensive mechanism. I chase people away before they get they opportunity to do the same. I know it's something I need to work on..."I said being as vulnerable as I could with him.

"I know you had a rough upbringing, Vi' and I cut you a lot of slack because of it. But I'm slowly losing my patience with doing that. Since the day we met I've shown you nothing but patience, kindness and love. I've given you no reason to believe I'd target you in any shape, way or form. I would hope that you know I'd never go into a conversation trying to attack you.." Roman replied and suddenly I just broke and began crying.

"I..I.. I'm so sorry. I know I don't deserve you or your love. I promise I'm trying Roman. It may not always seem that way but I really am." I said as tears ran down my face.

"Babygirl, wipe those tears. See that's the problem, you don't believe you deserve to be loved. You push me away because you don't believe someone can love you if they see who you truly are. Every time I get close, you put more distance between us. I love you Violet, I love you for you. You deserve my love, just like I deserve yours. Now wipe those tears and tell daddy you love him." He said soothingly in a way he knew always calmed me.

I took a moment and composed myself, wiping the tears off my face." I love you so much Roman, you make me want to change for the better. You make me want to believe I deserve love." I said and although I couldn't see him, I knew he was smiling.

"After this conversation, I think it's clear we both love one another but I think we both know love isn't enough. So I propose this, I'll be more upfront about my feelings if you learn to work on your anger." Roman suggested.

"Deal. One more thing I'd like to propose." I said softly.

"Of course, what is it my love?" Roman asked and I smiled hearing him call me his love.

"We need to make more time for each other. I think that's one of the reasons we're always at each other's throats. I suggest FaceTime calls every night, no matter how tired the other person is." I suggested as I knew part of the reason I was getting closer to Andrade was because I just needed someone to be there for me.

"Deal and I'm sorry for not being here as much. I didn't think I'd be as busy as I am." Roman said.

"You don't need to apologize babes, I knew you'd be busy but I didn't realize how busy. You're successful and in demand, it's nothing to apologize for. I just want to know that I have a piece of my boyfriend." I said.

"Can I ask you something?" Roman asked hesitantly.

"Go ahead." I replied bracing myself for the question.

"Do you have any feelings for Andrade?" He asked which was a fair question I suppose, but I could feel my blood boiling that he'd ask me that. I took a few mental deep breaths to calm myself then responded calmly.

"No, I don't have any feelings for Andrade. Our storyline is just that a storyline. I love you and only you." I replied calmly. Truth be told I did feel some type of physical attraction towards Andrade but I wasn't going to act on it. So I didn't see a reason to bring it up.

"And you know I don't feel anything for Nikki right?" He said.

"You better not or else I'll pop those plastic balloons on her chest." I responded as I couldn't help myself and Roman chuckled.

"I'd expect nothing less, Vi'." He said.

"I really wish you were here." I said randomly as I suddenly felt so alone in our bed.

"Me too babygirl. We'd be having the best make up sex right now." He teased.

"I guess we'll have to hold off on that till you come home. Also speaking of sex..I um have a question." I said innocently.

"Yes babygirl daddy will dominate you all day long when he gets home. Was that your question?" He said in a seductive tone that honestly turned me on.

"No but I'm definitely looking forward to that. Could we uh possibly get a mirror above our bed like in Seth's room, daddy?" I asked while innocently smiling not like he could see though. As soon as I said that he chuckled.

"Of course babygirl, anything you want. You like watching yourself get fucked by daddy, while you scream his name?" He said keeping the seductive tone.

"I love it." I admitted as I heard knocking on his door and looked at the time and realized he was at live show.

"Then I'll have someone come install a mirror for us. I'm sorry to do this Violet, but I have to go. We'll talk tomorrow night. I love you so much beautiful and thank you for having this conversation with me. I know it wasn't easy." He said.

"Don't be sorry babes, work is work. I look forward to talking to you tomorrow. I love you so much Ro'. Have a good show." I said then hung up and sighed in relief. We had laid everything on the table and we were still together which meant not only did we love one another but it meant that we were willing to fight for our relationship through the good and the bad. No relationship is sunshine and rainbows, you have to put in work to make them work and that's exactly what we were doing. After tonight's phone call, I felt reassured about our relationship.