Littlest Girl

Chapter 14

Diana felt lost and sad. The incident from the day before had shaken her more than she realized. Thankfully, her baby seemed to not remember much of the encounter and was happily playing with her toys within a couple hours of returning home.

While her little one was currently playing with letter blocks and her rattle on the living room floor, the older woman sat motionless on the couch. Weakness was a feeling she was unaccustomed to, and coupled with guilt, the emotions made her feel like a failure.

"Mama?" a voice said while tiny hands rested on her thighs. "Pway pease?"

After a moment, Diana sighed and felt more guilt coming on.

"No, Em. Not right now. You keep playing."

The little girl looked upset by this and moved to pick up her rattle.

"Mommy!" she yelled while shaking her rattle wildly.

"I'm right here. No yelling, please."

Emmi let out a huff and tossed her rattle to the ground. She then picked up one of her blocks.

"Mama 'pell!" she said angrily.

Diana rubbed her face for a second while trying to keep a calm expression.

"No thank you. Mama is feeling very tired."

Thinking that would be the end of the discussion, the woman was incredibly surprised when a block hit her in the face.

A gasp came from the small girl's lips as she realized what she had done.

"S-sowwy" she said worriedly.

Without a word, Diana stood and grabbed Emmi by the arm and brought her to the nursery. She picked up the girl and placed her into the crib.

"You do not hit. Ever. Not with your hand, not with your toys, not with your legs, not with anything. You're going sit in this crib until I come and get you."

Though her tone was calm, inside, the woman felt hurt and irritated.

"Mama no! Pease! No mean thwo bwock!"

Emmi started screaming at the top of her lungs as Diana walked away from her and closed the door. Once it was shut, the black haired woman leaned back and felt tears come to her own eyes.

"Scawed! No weave!"

The cries of the tiny girl could be heard despite the closed entrance, and Diana felt out of control. Everything around her felt like it was moving so fast while she was standing still. She could leave Emmi in her crib and let her cry things out, or she could return and possibly prolong the tantrum.

If life had a pause button, the exhausted woman would have zero hesitation about pressing it.

After a moment, Diana attempted to collect herself and walked into the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water and drank thoughtfully as she tried to center herself.

Watching the clock, after twenty minutes had passed, and the screaming diminished, she returned to the nursery. Approaching slowly yet purposefully, she could see her little one face down sobbing into her blanket.

The woman gently laid a hand on the girl's back as she continued to cry and waited for her to calm more and turn around.

"Look at me, please."

Slowly, the tiny brunette shuffled around and looked up at her caregiver.

"Mama why 'ou weave I nee' 'ou" she questioned tearfully.

"You hit Mommy with a block and that was a very mean, naughty thing to do. If someone tells you no; you need to listen. Throwing a fit does nothing to help you get your way or get you out of a punishment" Diana said severely.

"Having to sit in your crib and think about your actions is only a small punishment. Mama did not abandon you, trap you somehow, or put you anywhere unsafe. If you want me to be with you, then you should think about your actions and how they may affect things."

"Bu' 'ou no pay. An' feew sad an' wike 'ou no happy wif me" the girl replied.

Diana let out a shutter as she tried to remain composed. However, as Emmi gasped, she knew she was caught.

"Mama! Why 'ou cwyin'? I-is me?" the girl said terrified.

Coughing a bit as she tried to wipe at her eyes, Diana felt as though guilt would swallow her whole.

"Mama is feeling sad, Emmi. Sometimes even big girls and Mamas have bad days and feel upset. Today is one of those days. Yes, your fit and throwing the block makes me upset. But there are other things I'm thinking about that you don't need to worry about as a little girl. I know you want me to play with you, but sometimes people don't feel up to doing things because they're sad or tired."

Emmi looked concerned as she stood to try and hug her Mama.

"Sowwy was bein' meanie" she said squeezing the woman's waist. "Wove 'ou."

Diana let a tiny smile show with the words of her baby.

"And I love you. Thank you for apologizing. I do think, however, that you should write something about why hitting and throwing things is not appropriate. Perhaps two pages."

"Wes, Mama" the girl said nodding her head.

As her baby was set up with her paper and pencil, Diana sat down to think a bit more.

She was thankful that Emmi was behaving again and hoped she would be able to keep her own emotions in check. The notion of babies being able to pick up on their caregiver's emotions was certainly true; and likely a large factor in why her girl acted out.

Though a stressful experience, she hoped that the discussion following helped Emmi to understand that not everything happened on her terms. Sometimes she needed to care for herself and her health as well.

"All done" came the proud words of the subject of her thoughts.

"Thank you, baby. I'll read this in just a minute. Why don't you watch a little TV while I do that and come up with dinner."

"Wes! I watchin' da 'PongeBob" she said toddling over to sit in front of the TV.

After reading the thoughtful letter from her baby, she began searching through the pantry for something simple to make.

"Emmi! Would you like spaghetti?"

The little girl clapped her hands and squealed; a good enough answer for her Mama.