𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 & 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

1. Dyscalculia

Since it's been so long since I posted last on this, some of this will be reiteration but a lot of it will be new things so just bear with me, y'all lol

"Dyscalculia is difficulty in learning or comprehending arithmetic, such as difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, performing mathematical calculations and learning facts in mathematics."

That's Wikipedia's definition at least but it's a lot more complicated than that. For the most part, it's classified as "math dyslexia" but it actually includes everything with numbers.

For me, it's the worst of my disabilities/disorders because I have the worst problems with it.

I've known I had Dyscalculia since I was about 15 although I always knew I wasn't like other kids my age.

When I was a child, I couldn't tell left from right and it wasn't until I was at least 15 or so that I learned my own phone number. And to this day, I still can't read an analog clock which is why I always have to wear a digital watch whenever I need to know the time.

Since I was home-schooled from a young age, my mother taught me math but even that usually ended in crying sessions on my part because none of it made sense to me. Math was even worse as I got older and it became more difficult (algebra and business math were absolute nightmares). 

I'd even still work on learning more math throughout the summer but by the time the school year came around, I didn't remember any of it - that's because with dyscalculia, you have no rote memory. And that basically means that nothing I learned - addition, subtraction, division, multiplication - I didn't retain any of it. Even now, I've forgotten most of what I learned back then.

Most times, I just felt like a freak though - I hated not knowing what felt like everyone else my age already knew. And I never admitted to anyone that I couldn't do all these things because again, I didn't want to face the ridicule or have to endure being made fun of for it.

There are some things I can do though - albeit not well but I can. I can do some addition - that's probably where I'm the strongest at in math - and I can do some subtraction. But I'm not sure if I could do division or multiplication that well, the latter I was fair with but it's been so long now since I last did it that I'm hesitant about it now.

I remember once though in my brief time going to public school that I took timed tests - I hated those with a passion! I'd get so nervous having to do them that I'd fall behind everyone else so then I just ended up jotting down random numbers that weren't even right so I wouldn't be last to finish. Always hated that so much and now that I'm older, I wonder why in the world the school didn't take notice of how much I was failing. I have to say, public schools in the US - not all of them are the best and the more rural they are? The worse they are at helping children who need special attention with certain subjects.

Dyscalculia also makes it more difficult to remember directions and even do simple things like play chess or checkers. For example, whenever I play chess, I always have to have the directions explained to me before I can do it and then if I haven't played in a while, I completely forget the directions all over again therefore having to be told again.

But back to math, when I do add, sometimes I still count on my fingers because again, no rote memory in math - that and I find it a lot easier.

I also am really really bad at counting money - I always get flustered and lose count, plus adding it up gets me all confused. Subsequently, paying for things at the register at a store makes me super nervous which is why I try to avoid it whenever I can (thank you, self-check :P).

Hm, I'm bad at doing taxes - I really can't cause whenever I try, I end up getting everything confused and mixed up. Every time I've done it, it has never come out right.

I have trouble with remembering dates - for example, I adore anything having to do with history including things like genealogy but trying to remember all the dates is extremely hard for me and most times, they escape me.

I also transpose numbers a lot - like if I'm reading a book and I see the year "1986", a lot of times I'll transpose it as "1896".

Roughly 5%-7% of students in the United States have dyscalculia and most people agree that it's a relatively rare learning disability. Which is the reason why there hasn't been a lot of research done on it at all. If anything though, the one place in the world that has done extensive research is the United Kingdom - in fact, most of what we do know about this disability indeed comes from their research.

This is why it's important that dyscalculia gets the recognition it deserves as a very real disability. Most people think of dyslexia as the most prevalent learning disability there is and fail to see that there are other branches that need the attention just as much.

I hope that by reading this chapter, I may have helped others become more educated with it and as well as to just let people like me know that you're not alone in this. A lot of times, I know it can feel that way - in fact, in real life, I've never met anyone else who has it. And even online, I've only met 3-4 people who have it.

Next up, I'm going to be talking about dysgraphia and the issues I've gone through with that. So stay tuned for more and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!