In love with my best friend

Manifestations

I was hurting, physically, mentally, emotionally. It was so much to handle, so much pain, and torture for six months. 

Izabella: I love you, but please go. I just need some time.

Nova: Away from just me?

Izabella: Everyone but doctors, would you tell Gray?

Nova: No, you should... He needs to hear it from you. 

Izabella: You're probably right.

Nova: I'll go, but please no more secrets. 

After she left I stared at the ceiling wondering if Parker was right. If the justice system was fair. My friend lost her life, two other girls were bullied. One girl lost the love of her life. It just didn't add up, I didn't want a life sentence. I just wanted her to do the time for her crime. There was a knock on the door, I knew it was Gray. 

Grayson: Can I come in?

Izabella: Yeah, I have to tell you something. 

Grayson: What's wrong? 

Izabella: I just need time away from everyone. 

Grayson: What happened?

Izabella: Nova stopped by and she made me realize. I lied to you, I'd been lying for a year straight. I love you but I can't look at you with out feeling like I betrayed you. 

Grayson: Why? 

Izabella: I fought for a year, I lost a friend, I have more scars now than anyone should, I've been through two surgeries, three therapist, a lawyer, and a court trial. And I couldn't tell you for a year, I kept my mouth shut for a year. 

Grayson: You didn't have a choice

Izabella: But she only got six months in a rehabilitation center. Sammie's dead Gray, her mom lost her only child. Yet the person who pushed her over the edge got six months. SIX MONTHS!

Grayson: Hey, I get it. What happened isn't fair, but something is better than nothing right. 

Izabella: I just I need to fix myself first before I dive head first into us. 

Grayson: So you're breaking up with me? 

Izabella: No, Gray...

My voice broke

Izabella: I-I just need a week, give me a week not even a full week a school week. Five days to figure out how to feel better about what happened. 

Grayson: Okay, Five days.

I put my forehead against his, then he kissed me as if he were saying goodbye. I interlaced his fingers with mine.

Izabella: Listen to me, The stars they've always known we were meant for each other. This isn't the end of our story, it's just the beginning. I swear to you this isn't goodbye... we're just pressing pause. 

Grayson: Pressing pause. 

He kissed my hand and I held on until he was to far away. Watching him walk away hurt me more than anything. A part of me felt like I died watching him leave. But I knew pushing him away was best, for the both of us. He had alway been my ride or die. I hate to say it but he's my happily ever after. I felt hot tears running down my face. I rolled on my side and cried for at least an hour. To everyone else I had won, I had done what I said I was going to. But I lost the most important thing to me. A few hours later I was forced to eat. But any chance I had of gaining an appetite I lost when Gray walked away.  There was a knock on the door, my nurse came in took my vitals