In love with my best friend

Rain

After my pity party, I dusted the sand off my body, and walked back to my room. Gray was asleep on the couch, I crawled into bed and tried to sleep but with my thoughts racings I just couldn't. I knew Sammie left for her own reasons but I needed her now and she wasn't here. And maybe that makes me selfish but at this point I'm not even me anymore. I stayed up all night and left for breakfast before Gray woke up. I didn't eat much but I drank some tea, made me feel human for a little while. I watched the sun rising over the ocean, it was so peaceful. Then it started to rain and I wasn't sure how to feel. It was something that at this point scared me whereas it used to relax me. I sat on top of Gray and he started to wake up

Grayson: Is everything okay?

Izabella: No, but I need something from you

Grayson: What?

He started to poke me.

Izabella: Part of me thinks you already know.

Grayson: We were just in a fight

Izabella: I know and I want to make it up to you 

I want to feel something

Grayson: Would you talk to me?

Izabella: I want to and I will, I just need a few more days of normal first. 

He kissed my hand, picked me up, and sat me on the couch

Grayson: As much as I want to give you an attitude adjustment. I think we need to talk it out then we can fuck it out

He's such a gentleman, but right now I don't a gentle man

Izabella: So let's talk 

Grayson: What happened last night?

Izabella: I've just got a plate full of emotions over things I thought I let go, but apparently not. 

Grayson: Then talk to me.

Izabella: I miss Sammie.

Grayson: Baby why couldn't you tell me this?

Izabella: I don't know, sometimes it just feels impossible to speak. So when I can't speak I write and when I can't write... well I haven't gotten that far and I hope I never will. But I just thought I was okay with her moving on and I don't think I am.

Grayson: It's okay to miss people you've lost?

Izabella: How would you know, your dead dad isn't dead. You haven't even lost a grandparent or a pet. You've got genes like a greek god you just don't die. 

Grayson: I know that he technically never died but I thought he did at one point. 

Izabella: I don't want to be sad right now...

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck

Izabella: I need to feel close to you

Before I have to push you away for good

Izabella: Please

I kissed him pushed my body against his.

Izabella: Don't make me beg

Let's just say I got what I wanted. The way he touched me lit my skin on fire and I loved every moment of it. It lasted about an hour, an hour of pleasure. A moment to remember for the rest of my life. A moment to write about. I hated that I'd be leaving these moments behind, that the writing would stop. That my future with Gray would cease to exist. After my thoughts settled down I was able to sleep for a little while. I woke up took a shower and proceeded get dressed for the rest of the day. It was a chill day, something for everyone to vibe with. We watched a movie and played card games. My phone rang and I went to answer it in the hallway