In love with my best friend

Being Okay isn't Easy

He never ignored my calls. I called him again and started walking up and down the streets. Calling his name, texting him, no response. I was worried he'd do something he's regret. I walked around until two or three. I made my way home and still hadn't heard anything. I sat in my window watching the street hoping I'd see his car or him. But nothing, I put my head against the window. 

Izabella: Please let him be okay.

I looked at the stars

Izabella: I need to send you another manifestation. I don't know know if this man is who he says he is so if it's him send me ...

I wasn't sure what to ask for a flower, a rainbow... A shooting star. 

Izabella: A shooting star, send me a shooting star and I don't mean to rush it, but sooner rather than later

I fell asleep in my window. Buried myself in his sweatshirt which was slowly starting to lose his scent.  I just wanted him to come home. But I can't force him to. After all it's been one hell of a day. I woke up at four or five nothing from Gray. I called him again, texted him tried to think of all the places he would go. But he had one advantage I didn't , he had a car which mean he got way further way faster. I called Jaxson

Jaxson: What's up Bella?

Izabella: Hey, have you heard from Gray? 

Jaxson: No, is he okay?

Izabella: I don't he hasn't been answering his phone

Jaxson: Do the two of you have the same phone?

Izabella: I think so, why?

Jaxson: Use the find my phone app, it'll ping wherever he was last. 

Izabella: Thanks, I'll let you know when I find him. 

Jaxson: Okay be safe. 

I used the app and pinged his phone. It was about a mile and a half away from my house. I had no idea what was there but if Gray was there would be a fifty fifty chance of it being innocent or being horrible. I told mom I was going for a walk and left. I ended up at a boxing place. I saw Gray's car I looked inside he wasn't there but his phone was. I walked inside and felt extremely uncomfortable. There were men everywhere. One of them stopped me, his name tag said James.

James: Ma'am you can't be in here .

Izabella: Why not?

James: Is a men's only club.

Izabella: And I'm trying to find my boyfriend, so with all do respect get the hell out of my way. 

James: I'll get him for you.

Izabella: James, you want me to put a mister in front of it to make you feel important. Because to me right now you're two seconds away from getting your ass handed to you but a girl. So I'll ask you again to get the hell out of my way. 

Grayson: Bella?

Izabella: Gray!

I ran into his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck. 

Grayson: What are you doing here?

Izabella: Looking for you stupid... you just left.

Grayson: James, I've got this .

James walked away 

Grayson: come on let's go somewhere to talk

We walked out of the place and he sat on the hood of his car. I just stared at him. I was glad he was okay but I was so angry that he just left. I stood in front of him, in between his legs. I kissed him, I pulled myself close to his. I buried myself in his chest

Izabella: I'm so glad you're okay.

I put my hands on his face and looked at him. Then I punched him in the arm 

Izabella: Don't you ever do that again. 

Grayson: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you in the dark.

Izabella: But you did, I spent all night walking the streets looking for you. And you couldn't even answer your phone. 

Grayson: I just needed some time to think.

Izabella: So you thought it was best not to tell anyone where you were going or if you were okay?

Grayson: I'm not okay.

Izabella: I know that, I know that there is no possible way for you be okay after what just happened. But I also know that had anything happened to you and didn't get the chance to say goodbye. 

Grayson: I wouldn't have let that happen

Izabella: I just... I don't know what I did to make you not trust me. Or lost the ability to talk to me, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not saying "I love you" enough, or saying "sorry" to much. I'm sorry. 

Grayson: This isn't your fault

Izabella: Then why didn't you tell me, why didn't you talk to me, why didn't you come to me?

I felt tears coming down my face. 

Grayson:  Baby I didn't leave because of you. None of this was because of you. Don't you ever blame yourself, you say "I love you" when you mean it and not like it's a chore. You say "sorry" just enough. I know that this hasn't been easy for you either and I'm sorry that I made you worry. 

Izabella: I'm sorry I punched you

Grayson: I deserved it

Izabella: It doesn't matter, I don't like hurting you

Grayson: I know, I don't like hurting you either

Izabella: Can we talk about Atlas now?

Grayson: What about him?

Izabella: Something doesn't feel right about him Gray... I mean he knows things but something just isn't right.

Grayson: I got that feeling too.

Izabella: Your mom she believes it's him but if it isn't and her heart gets broken again. 

Grayson: I don't know, but maybe it's because he's been away for so long

Izabella: I guess, people do change with time. But there's gotta be some way to test that it's really him right?

Grayson: We'll have a family dinner, ask trick questions and if he answers them wrong we'll know 

Izabella: You're mom she'll defend him , she can't be there. 

Grayson: We'll figure it out right now I just want to sit with you 

Izabella: Okay 

Grayson: are you okay?

Izabella: With Atlas being here, I guess. But I'm afraid 

Grayson: Of what?

Izabella: It's nothing important. Just a bad feeling I guess

More than a bad feeling.

Grayson: I've gotta get you home