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Sadness engulfed my body at the sight that I just saw. My love, or should I say ex-love, sat drunk at the bar. I walk to him and gently place my hand on his shoulder, he's taken aback and looks at me surprised. "Why are you doing this again, Bucky?" I ask him with watery eyes. "You've worked so hard."
"None of it matters now," he shrugged, taking another sip. "You were the only reason that I stopped drinking and now your gone."
"I'm still right here, Bucky. I told you to call me if you needed anything. You know I would've been there."
"It's not the same. I'd feel like a burden to you if I asked for your help. Your doing so well right now, I wouldn't want to get in the way of that." Bucky says, looking at his drink.
"I'm not doing so well, Bucky," I confess to him, taking a seat. "I miss you so much. I- I haven't been sleeping much."
He shakes his head. "Don't tell me that, y/n. It doesn't make things any better."
"Then what do you want me to tell you, Bucky? That I hate you? That I'm glad we broke up? Well I don't hate you and I'm not glad we broke up. I stay awake at night thinking about what I did wrong for you to not want to be with me."
"It's not like that," he says, finally looking up to look at me. He had bags under his eyes, his face was flushed because of the alcohol, and he held a sorrowful expression on his face. Even with the tiredness on his face, he still looks like the most handsome man in the world. "I did it to protect you, y/n. There are still things that can trigger the Winter Soldier. I almost killed you when something triggered me while we were sleeping. I was supposed to keep you safe, but instead I was the one that brought you harm. I can't risk something like that happening to you again."
"I'd rather die then not be with you, Bucky," I tell him frustratedly. "I knew the risks of being with you and I didn't care because I love you."
"There shouldn't be a risk of death when your getting into a relationship."
"There is risk in everything in life. You need to stop being scared, Bucky. I can handle myself. I only got a few bruises from the incident. I'm perfectly fine. You need to forgive yourself."
"It doesn't matter if it was just "a few bruises." I hurt you. Your the thing I love most in the world and I hurt you." He said, about to take a sip of his drink. I take it from him and places it out of his reach.
"You are hurting me more right now," I tell him. "The heartache that I feel is worse than any physical pain I've ever felt. I know you feel that way too. Stop punishing yourself by staying away from me. Forgive yourself, Bucky. Please."
Bucky looks down at the floor in defeat. I see a tear slip from his eye. I take his arm and wrap them around me, then I embraced him close. "I'm sorry, y/n." He tells me, shedding a few tears.
"It's okay, Bucky. We're okay." I comfort him.
"I love you." He says sincerely.
"And I love you, James." I tell him kissing the top of his head.
After a few more minutes, me and Bucky left the bar and went back to the Avengers tower. Once we were there, we went to his room and I tried to make him sleep. He laid on my chest as I caress his hair. After a few minutes, he went to sleep.