My Poems in LIFE

Cut Ties

For some reason I feel numb,

Waking up in the morning feels so dull,

The usual warm sensation from my fingertips seems to fade,

Like how the light in my room dispersed, thus swallowing me into darkness.

I haven't felt like this for a while,

It wasn't uncommon for me to feel this way in the past,

Seems that I've been so careless of letting people in,

Therefore giving me their warmth,

Love,

Care,

And compassion.

I shouldn't have let them in,

I should have cut ties with them when it's still early,

Why did I await until it bore fruit?

When did I become so selfless?

I'm just wasting my time,

I shouldn't have minded them at the
beginning,

Why had I even accepted them in the first place?

How come they want me--

To be their friend?

I am nothing

I'm not special

Not even worthy to stand beside them

I should've stopped it from the start

Knowing that I'll be hurt in the end

But why? Why can't they understand? I told them to leave me be!

I want to be left alone

Inside my own personal space

In my own little world

Please just leave me alone

I just want to be at peace

Can't they understand that?

Of course they can't. I don't understand myself either.

For I am

Broken
             
                  
                       

Worthless
                     
                             
                                      

A trash

                

                         
                   

Useless

Naive

Stupid

Lazy

A good-for-nothing

Human being

Therefore, I am

Me

I am nothing,

Nothing but me

Is that alright?

Would that be okay?

For me, to be myself.

I don't want to be selfish,

But I don't want to leave either,

I still want to be with them,

The truth is,

I don't want to--

Cut ties.

-Zudotakikurose