Night is Falling: Confessions of the Tattooed Witch

The Pain of my Existence

Pain is a test of our strength, a sign of how much we can endure. It shows us that we are alive, that we are mortal. Pain is a necessary part of life, we all experience it. It comes in many forms.

Physical pain is the easiest to endure because it's usually fleeting and can be numbed with herbs. It's the intensity of physical pain that shows us our mortality and reveals our strength and endurance. Pain can be dull and aching, shooting, throbbing, or sharp and intense. The more pain a person endures the stronger and more resilient they become, and their outlook on life changes dramatically.

Emotional pain is draining and one of the hardest to deal with. It chews on your nerve endings and exhausts your mind. It creates a dull kind of physical pain that's hard to escape from. The pain can drown us in sorrow and depression. This kind of pain can make us feel dead.

Psychological pain affects our soul and our overall well being. Psychological pain often manifests in either physical or emotional pain. Psychologically we can address this path's origin. It is rare and often requires professional aide. It is a pain most people will never know and is one of the most damaging.

Dante was able to inflict every form of pain imaginable on me. Most of it was physical with the after effects being emotional and psychological. It was disconcerting how much this pain affected my life.

Dante was the corrupt witch who tortured me mercilessly for days until he tried to have me burned at the stake. Luckily, Thorn's ally The Count showed up as they tied me to the pyre.

I had scars from the pain that he caused, scars from every lashing, bite, and rape. Every lashing bit into my skin, tore my flesh and oozed blood. It burned like fire. But it wasn't a few lashings, it was many, over my back, chest, arms and legs. The pain consumed me, I became engulfed in horror and intense shame. I was objectified, raped, abused, tortured, tormented and beaten, all for simply being a witch.

My pain had changed me in many ways as I would come to find out. I had sleeping problems as well as physical, emotional and mental repercussions. I was turned into a different woman, a colder and more bitter version of my former self. My suffering manifested itself in many negative ways.

Thorn became aware of my intimacy fears the night of my return. I was humiliated by my weakness and fought to strengthen myself. Thorn waited by my side patiently as slowly recovered. It took a full year and some odd days before we made love again, and it was beautiful and intimate in the most delightful ways.

I had finally recovered what Dante stole from me. Thorn adored my scars as pieces of my strength. We were bonded by our wounds in so many ways. Every night Thorn would kiss the cluster of scars on my chest. The scars I hated the most, scars that marred my endowment. I had always been proud of my large chest, but not anymore. Now I was twisted, corrupt and scarred. Even Amaranth noticed the change in my demeanor.

Even a year after my ordeal I was sullen and depressed. Thorn noticed and tried to help but he couldn't. I was plagued by recurring nightmares. It was a sign that no matter what  I did I would never be able to escape from my pain.