Day 6.
It was like a being new again. Waking up beside my best friend; it was all so different.
"So early?" He muttered covering his eyes with the pillows.
"Yeah, I need to go shopping." I said getting out of bed.
"Will there be a piercing involved."
"If you hurry maybe." I smiled walking to the bathroom.
The door to Spencer's room was closed; i couldn't help but think of him. My heart fluttered like a butterfly in the springtime. I felt like a teenager completely in love with unattainable idea of us. Us together deeply in love.
"Can at least try to hide it." Mickey said brushing his teeth beside me.
"Sorry, it's just hard being so close." I said looking down at the pile of toothpastein the sink.
"Yeah, I get it. I'm sorry about before." Mickey said suddenly. "I never did apologize. I pushed too far and I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I understand; You push." I weakly smiled.
"No I-"
"Really Mick. I'm gonna need that." I smiled. "So nose ring or stud?"
He laughed agreeing with nose ring. I went downstairs dressed and ready for the day ahead.
"Hey Josh." I said getting a making coffee.
"Aye, staying in?"
"Nah. Why?"
"Thinking about watching a movie and staying in. Avery is planning on leaving soon and Spen left a while back."
"You know what I'll stay in."
"No-"
"Yeah, come on. We haven't interacted together in a forever."
"I guess, I'm shopping alone."
"Take Avs." Josh said digging in the cabinet.
"Smart have fun boys." Mickey announced walking out of the kitchen.
"So, what movie?" I asked.
"Batman and insidious."
"Popcorn?"
"Carmel?"
"Maybe I should marry you."
Josh let out a solid laugh. "I can finally go full circle."
"Ew, Josh." I laughed hitting him.
"What everyone needs a bucket list."
"So, do we have a movie room or are we laptoping it."
"Neither, do you know what a tv is?"
"Well mickey has a huge house i don't know."
"The pool is mediocre."
"Well at least it exists."
"It has-"
"Okay, yeah it sucks." I agreeded giving in. "I'm hungry can we start now."
"Fine here are the movies get settled in Spencer's room."
"Why Spen's"
"It hss better sound than mine and yours has no tv."
I nodded in agreement leaving the kitchen. I got in the bed it still warm. It was almost like Josh did this on purpose. I felt at home surrounded by his aroma.
"Okay, i lied all we have are skittles and regular popcorn."
"I can deal get in."
"Ready to pee?"
"Whatever start the movie."
Hours passed filled with loud shrieks and popcorn refills. It was nice to have a day of relaxation. Spencer came into his room to see us both in his room.
"Movies?" I questioned.
"Wanna join?" I asked.
"I was actually in need of recruits to walk Bo. His been in my car all day. Running errangs with me and- but its okay."
Josh nudged me stuffing his mouth. "I think I might take a nap." He winked at me before taking the popcorn leaving.
"I guess I'm free." I said never truly realizing how good of a person Josh was.
"So? How was your day?" Spencer asked beside me holding Bo by the leash.
"Lazy." I laughed. "Where we headed?" I asked following behind him.
"I usually let Bo leads. He knows around here well."
"What made you wanna keep him?" I asked. "I mean you hated cleaning up after him; Now you are his-"
"Butler, I dont know. He reminded me of good times. Plus, he's just like another member. And we don't ditch members."
"Did you ever think about ditching him?"
"A month after you left; I always thought you were bluffing. I was constantly telling Josh you'd be back. When that day never came I went crazy. Bo was always there."
I nodded intently listening. "You good?"
"Oh, yeah. I have no hard feelings with you. I just want you to know; I'm up to be completely honest."
I nodded looking at my feet. Say it. Tell him you love him and miss his warm embrace. Be honest.
"I think if we keep being honest; we can maybe restart. Have a new beginning."
"Can't we just stary where we left off?"
"Where is that?" He said pausing our stroll to meet eyes with me.
"I don't know. Back when- after Fiona died. When all we did was-"
"That wasn't a happy time."
"But I had you."
"Raven,-"
"No its time I be honest. Spencer I never stopped loving you. I only left because, because I made a promise." I said breathing heavily.
"A promise?" He said with a raised eyebrow.
"I told Fi I wouldn't shut down on you. Spencer I knew I couldn't okay. I left cause if you saw me shut down I failed everyone. I never meant to hurt you."
"But you-"
"I realized it wasn't the best plan. But i still love you."
"I- I love you too."
I knew this was all wrong; everything before this moment has been amazing. I couldn't allow myself to ruin this. Unlike what the quotes says since I love him I should keep him but the truth is i loved him so much I let him go. I loved Josh, Avery, and Mickey and alowing muself to fall into Spencer's offering arms meant giving up on that friendship I had rebuilt with them all.
"Spencer, i love you more than everything, but us. We, I need time. The wedding is soon and maybe what we need is a break."
"What about before?" He asked somewhat annoyed.
"Before Fiona died everyone believed I would be okay. Her mother died just another death! No that's not how it works. I miss my mother more than ever now. Plus Fiona. I question how I survive day in and day out. You were stupid to think I was strong."
"Raven, I'm sorry. I guess we were both wrong."
"So will you let me start fresh?"
"Yeah, yeah totally friends." he weakly smiled.
I nodded walking back alone a couple feet ahead of him. It was my turn to walk ahead. My turn to be hurt. Because my life was a series of a unfortunate events. That I repeatedly ignored.
