~Ponyboy~
When we got to the hospital, I suddenly got really nervous.
"What if she doesn't wanna see me?" I asked Soda.
He scoffed. "What are you talking about? Of course she'll want to see you."
"No," I said as we walked down the hallway, stopping in front of the room we were directed to by the woman at the front desk. "She was mad at me. And I was being stupid and we got in a fight and I realized I was totally wrong... and I never got to apologize."
My hands were shaky and I felt my breaths become short as a wave of anxiety hit me. I grabbed a cancer stick from my pocket and lit it up to steady my nerves.
Soda smiled softly. "Trust me Ponyboy, she will want to see you. I'll go in first and talk to her, and then I'll get Dally to leave with me so you can talk to her alone. Just wait here."
I nodded and sat down with my back against the wall. I heard lots of talking and even laughing inside.
After a long time, the door opened, and out walked Dally and Soda.
"I swear to God, Ponyboy, I'll kill ya if you make her upset." Dallas threatened.
Soda just gave me a reassuring smile as I opened the door and walked in.
It was the first time I'd seen her in weeks. She looked very sick. She was pale and had tubes up her arms and a sling on her left one.
Her hair had grown a little more since we cut it in the church, and so her natural dark brown (almost black) hair grew from the top and got lighter towards the bottom where she'd bleached it.
I couldn't help but think that even after just waking up from a coma she looked so beautiful.
"Emily, I'm so sorry..."
Suddenly she just burst into tears. She was sitting up in the bed and had her arm up, gesturing for me to go over to her.
So I did, and then I started crying too as I hugged her. It was the first time I'd touched her in a long time. I guess you never realize how much you need touch from a specific person until you haven't had it.
I am in love with her. I can finally admit it to myself.
I held her tightly. "I was wrong, Em, I'm sorry, I was going to apologize, I just..."
She cut off my rambling. "Ponyboy, stop it. It doesn't matter. I never wanna argue with you again." She pulled away and wiped her tears. "What if..." she choked on a sob, "what if I'd died and I was still mad at you? Oh my gosh, we were so stupid. Please never walk away from me mad again." She fell back into my shoulder.
I laughed through my tears. "I won't, ever. Because..." I looked her in the eye. I may as well say it.
I sighed. "What if you died and I never told you that I love you?"
She frowned. "You love me?" She asked as she wiped a tear.
"I don't know how, or when it started, but everyday I love you even more."
I stood up.
"Jesus Christ, I don't know why I feel this way! You're the first thing I think of when I wake up. The last thing I think of before I sleep. In a crowded room of people, you're the person I go to. You're the only one who I'd see.
Even the thought of you makes me smile. The butterflies I felt when I first got close to you never went away. So I love you! I love you, Emily, I couldn't imagine life without you! And the thought of that ever happening made me sick! I'm so glad you're okay. So glad.
I thought... after my parents died I thought I would never feel happiness again. Or feel anything again. But then we went to the movies that night and for the first time in eight months, I felt something. All because of you."
She looked shocked that I would say anything like that. Maybe I never would if I didn't meet her. She made me think there's good in this world. Just when I started to think there was only bad, she showed me the good...
"But what about Cherry?"
I scoffed. "I tried to see you in Cherry. But I didn't. Sure, I may have thought about other girls, but I can't imagine a future with anyone else like I can with you. They're not like you, and I don't want someone like you, I want you! Emily, it's you. There have been other girls, but it's always been you. I love you. You're anything and everything I'd ever want."
She grinned. "Well it's about time!"
"What do you mean?"
"You love me, Ponyboy? That's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know."
I didn't expect for her to feel the same. I felt my heart skip.
She pulled the sheets next to her back and patted the spot next to her. I lay down in the bed and wrapped my arms around her, and she snuggled closer into me.
"I wish you would have told me that earlier."
I laughed. "Me, too."
"I don't want you to ever let go." She said. "Now that you're here holding me, never let go. I mean it."
I looked her in the eyes. "I won't."
