I rolled out of bed on Sunday morning and pull my phone out while putting my hair in a pony tail.
"Ben." I say into my phone.
"Hey, sorry I haven't been over in a while." He says quietly.
"It's... Okay. I just wish you'd tell me why." I admit.
"If I told you it would only make your life worse." He says.
I sigh and walk down stairs with the phone still to my ear.
"You know I'm here." I say.
"Yes, I know." He says.
"Bye Ben." I say. I wanted to say I love him, but I can't. As a friend of course.
"Bye Em." He replies then hangs up.
I hang up and walk out the front door, my aunt was already gone for work. As I walk down the steps I get into the car and drive away. I didn't know where he lived but hopefully somewhere descent. I wanted to go do something but I knew that most of me didn't even know what. I just had to get my mind off of Ben and... life.
When I pull into the restaurant I get out and the waitress smiles at me.
"Welcome." She says.
I smile and nod before sitting at a table. The girl quickly walks over and stands before me.
"What can I get you today?" She asks.
"A water and some fries." I say. I'm not that hungry.
"Okay, it'll be a few minutes." She says walking away.
I lean back in the seat and close my eyes while sighing.
"Emily?" I hear a voice call.
I open my eyes to my aunt standing in front of me.
"What?" I question, "I thought you were at work."
"Well, I'm here, What are you doing here?" She asks.
"Getting my mind off of things." I say.
"Off of Ben." She corrects me.
I roll my eyes and sigh, "I'm just hungry." I lie.
She takes a seat in front of me and stares at me. Just then the waitress sits the fries I ordered in front of me. Of course, I just told my aunt I wasn't hungry. I give the waitress an unearned glare before looking back at me aunt.
"Hungry." She quotes.
"I..."
"It's Ben, I know, but he'll be okay." My aunt assures me.
"How do you know?" I ask.
She looks down, "He's strong."
I nod and eat a fry, "How long have you known Ben?"
"About five years." She sighs.
"Wow." A part of me isn't shocked, she's a big people person.
"Yeah, I know him well, so just know he'll be fine." She says.
I stand and begin to walk away, "Where are you going?"
"I'm... going home." I say.
"Take your fries." She says placing them in my hand.
"Thanks." I laugh and walk to my car.
When it gets a bit later I head up to my room and lock my door. Even though my aunt made me believe that he'd be okay, I'm still worried. My phone dinged in my pocket.
"Hey?" I question.
"Hey, how're you?" Ben asks.
"Good, you?" I ask.
"Fine." He says.
I take a deep breath and stay quiet.
"I'll be better soon." He says.
"I miss you." I admit. I've never really missed anyone, this was a new feeling.
"I... I miss you so much." He confesses.
"I..."
"What?" He asks.
"I didn't think you would." I admit.
He laughs a little, "It'd be impossible not to miss you."
"Not for my mom." I say sadly.
"It's your mom's loss." He says making me smile.
"When can I see you?" I ask.
"Hopefully soon." He says.
I hear a deep voice in the background that sounds like yelling.
"Okay!" I hear Ben yell, "I'm sorry Em, I have to go."
"Bye." I say then he hangs up.
Sighing I change into some sweats and a bra. Laying in bed I hear the front door close and footsteps down the hallway.
"Hey, honey?" I hear my aunt.
I see the door creak open letting a sliver of light come in.
"Yeah?" I ask with a raspy voice.
"Are you okay?" She gives my a sincere smile.
"Yeah, just worried." I grumble, "I hate having feelings."
"It's what happens when you have friends Emily." She says.
"Emma." I correct.
"Good night." She says closing the door.
My eyes begin to water. It's an other thing, having depression is not fun. Sometimes waves of emotions hit me and I begin to cry. My reasons vary, this was just anxiety. I was worried about Ben and what was happening with his dad. Something leaves me wanting him, just to be around him again. It hasn't even been too long, just a few weeks, but it's long enough.
"Wake up!"
I roll over and see my aunt standing in my doorway. Groaning, I sit up and squint around the room.
"Get ready for school." She says before closing my door.
I didn't want to. It's simple, actually. I couldn't.
It was like a magnet pulling me down, one thousand pounds set on my shoulders. I hated these days, it was most of them. Pulling myself off of my bed I stand and begin to get ready for school, it's going to be a long day.
YOU ARE READING
The fears we share
Romance"I'm so broken!" I yell. "I am too, but we can put each other back together." He says taking my hand. "You're only cracked, my life is so fucked up." I say. "Listen. We can get through this." He says. I pull him in and hug him hard. I know if he's h...
