To someone special

CHAPTER 1

My car came to an halt and I reached home and straight away headed to my room not bothering to hint them(my family) that I am home already.

I enter my room, freshen up and decided to do the one thing which I have decided to do for long now..

I take out a pen and a paper from my drawer and started to think how to start and where to end??

Finally, I gave up the idea of thinking coz if I keep thinking, there will be no time for me to put my feelings into words...

With a heavy heart and tears already forming in my eyes I took the pen in my hand....

Hey!!

I don't think you know me and I also don't want you to know me either..

You might be wondering from where this creepy letter has reached you and you might be the wrong person who received it. But let me tell you that I am writing this letter to you and only you Sunayn...

I don't have enough confidence to face you and talk to you so I am writing you this letter and let me tell, you will not be able to find me until I wanted to let you know who am I?

Don't think I am blackmailing you for something or wanted to blackmail now in any way coz I can't imagine you going through any of that and remember that I always wanted you to be happy and that smile of yours will make my day and my life too...

I want to tell so many things to you Sunayn but I don't want you to panic after receiving this letter, I promise I will write more in the next letter..

Don't try to search for me coz I am sure u can't find me too...

Your's well wisher and l...

Bye..

With this I closed the letter and when I looked myself in the mirror I had a satisfied smile on my face that I had talked to him and he will be able to listen to me(read the letter).

The next thing I would do in the morning after reaching college is to keep the letter in its place so that he could read it..!!

When I entered the kitchen, I found that my food was kept in the fridge as usual and I have to heat and eat it to keep myself alive. Earlier there was time when everyone from the family would sit together and have dinner together with so much fun and laughter but now the only thing left in this house is voidness which has been killing me every second.

Already few tears slipped out of my eyes and my food was heated too. I ate in silence thinking various aspects when I found my so called mother now came into kitchen to fetch water not even sparing me a glance.

I don't want to start a conversation too, so I kept silent until the kitchen was left with me and my lonely thoughts. After dinner I made a plan how to put that letter in his bag without anyone's acknowledgment.

I will come to know how will Sunayn reacts to my letter tomorrow and I am excited to know his reactions. I should make myself available to look him from far when he reads my letter. With a slight grin on my face I allowed the night to consume dark into my eyes so that tomorrow the sun would kiss me brightly with a new ray of hope...

I always wanted to sleep peacefully but I can't and I know the reason for it. I think I should consult a doctor and take some sleeping pills so that I will be able to sleep.

I had become insomniac since my dad died and no one cared if I was eating, sleeping or living. I don't want them too but somewhere I feel that why did they do this to me.

Am I that useless? Am I not worth to someone's love and affection?

I so badly wanted to question everyone for making my life a mess but I stop myself coz who am I and what am I to them or who they are to me? I thought even after knowing everything about them I could maintain the same relation with them but they always treated me like an outsider. At least they could have acted like before so that I would not be this lonely but no...

As soon as they realized that I am aware about the truth they treated me like trash. They even tortured me, abused me called me by names but I don't care anymore coz I promised dad that I will cope up with life and make him proud.

When I look at my wrist, I start feeling guilty for breaking my promise. I bloody tried to kill myself. I know killing is not the solution for my problem but what am I supposed to do when I am being emotionally and physically hurt. My doctor told me not to do such immature things coz he believes that killing ourselves will make others think that we are weak and we can be ruled.

I kept his words in mind and never tried to do that stunt again. I wanted to share everything with someone but I don't have any. My dad was my friend, companion everything with whom I would share everything with him.

Now I don't have him, I am all alone.

Tears started flowing from my eyes and my vision became even more blurry but I couldn't stop myself. I cried and cried until I don't have any energy left in me to cry.

I went to washroom and showered again and I am grateful that my tears will be mixed up with water. I closed only to not look stressed and I am sure that there are bags under my eyes and I couldn't help it.

Please god help me to sleep...

imagine the below as the letter:)