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Prologue

Dear Frankie,

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you." - John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

This is the only thing I found fitting enough to start my goodbye letter off with. This quote has been going through my head since you made me read that dreadfully amazing book. Honestly I think you were trying to be cute when you told me to read this only a few weeks after finding out about my cancer. But just to prove a point I read it and loved all of it. I loved the way they loved each other and that is what brings me back to the point of this letter, I am in love with you. It pains me to know that I will never get to tell you how I have felt since the day I met you. How cliche is that? That's the most stereotypical thing to say to someone but honestly it's the truth. I needed you to know because no one knows. Ronnie doesn't know and honestly I didn't think me telling her as I'm lying here dying was the best time. Yes, I love Ronnie and she has been an amazing girlfriend and has stuck by me through all of this but it's always been you. It will always be you. Thank you for being my best friend and love of my life. I only wish we had more time. Goodbye Francesca.

Love Always, Thomas

P.S. "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have a say in who hurts you..."

I stared at the letter. I turned it over and over expecting something to change but of course nothing did. I read it a total of three times before placing it back into its envelope. I could still smell his scent on the paper as I traced the letter of my name on the front of the envelope.

"Frankie, honey it's time to go." My mother's voice came from downstairs. I looked around my room, looking for the perfect place before opening my top dresser drawer and placing the envelope underneath my favorite pair of fuzzy socks. I turn and take a look at myself in my full length mirror before opening my door and walking down the hall towards the stairs. It was time to move forward. It was time to say goodbye.