ending scene | l.hc

08

{his}

i hope she didn't get it wrong.

when i read it, it broke my heart a thousand times more.

i miss you like how i miss the rainy days.

i miss you like how the raindrops fall during may.

those lines struck me.

she was broken because of someone she misses dearly. i wonder why she still can't move on from it.

she had to leave because someone called her. i think it's about her works.

while spending the rest of the day inside the café, i made another song.

' broken raindrops '

i spent all the remaining time of the day working on it. while working on it, i couldn't help but think of her.

as night fell, i walked home and took my time. my place was a little far from hers and from the river. so i decided to go to the building's rooftop.

she was bothering me.

all of her existence was bothering me.

but i didn't want to get rid of her. i badly wanted to ask her if she's fine. if she was eating well. if she sleeps well at night. i badly wanted to stay by her side.

i sat on the edge of the rooftop when the breeze began to get a little cold. in front of me was an another version of the cityscapes. no doubt, shine's balcony has the best view, even if i was on top of the tallest building in this city. it reminded me of her.

if she stays on that balcony tonight, will she feel more lonely? more sad?

or will she find healing from all the chaos that has been lurking inside her?

•••

" i didn't saw you come in last night. where were you? " my brother asked, as i woke up. he entered my room to get something, waking me up in the process.

" i was here by 6pm but i was in the rooftop until 11. " i replied, still half-asleep.

" did you eat dinner? " he asked, sitting at the end of my bed, not facing me.

" yes. "

we stayed quiet.

a long silence.

that long silence i dread.

" next week is mom's birthday. " his voice broke. i rolled my hands into a fist and looked away.

" don't you want to come home? " he asked, now facing me. his eyes were filled with pity, sadness and pain. i slowly shook my head.

" i'm still struggling to find a job. so maybe i couldn't help for a few weeks. " i tried swerving the topic. but his eyes was still there.

" forget that. i told you, i can provide for you until you reach your dreams. " he said, getting closer to me.

" haechan, it's been years. don't you want to forgive? " his voice was soft. he got it from our mom. soft-spoken and calm. i didn't want to live with him in the first place because of how much he reminded me of mom, but i had no choice.

i stayed silent.

my heavy breathing was the only sound we could hear.

i tightened my knuckles as i felt heat on my eyes.

" i guess not then. i'll be leaving by monday but i'll be back by wednesday morning. " he said, before standing up, carrying his things.

but even before he could close the door and leave me alone,

" if you ever change your mind, i can still book a ticket home for you. eat your food. i'll be going. "

i stayed for another more minutes trying to calm my breathing, staring at the vast mirror in front of me.

i saw my reflection, my knuckles had gone pale, my blank but tearing eyes.

why is it so hard to forgive and forget the past?

///