ending scene | l.hc

15

{her}

i placed my hand over my chest as i closed the door.

he walked me home and it was yet another day that ended with him.

i remembered every single word i said to him.

' i am here because of the pain. '

and i remembered how his eyes beamed a hint of pain. and how i felt guilty for saying it in front of him.

even if he already saw me in my worst, he didn't deserve to see me in that way. he didn't deserve to see how tired i was of living and how i got used to pain like it was oxygen.

" hey "

i flinched when someone spoke. i just realized that the kitchen lights were on.

" h-hey, belle. what are you doing here? " i asked, surprised to see her here. she had a spare key for my condo so it was no question how she got in.

" i cooked dinner for you. " she said, and beamed a smile. a smile that resembles him so much.

" i'm not hungry, though. " it was almost a whisper. i didn't want to make her feel like i didn't want her here. because i need her, too. she's my friend. and maybe she's here because she needs someone to talk to.

" come on, sit down. i learned this recipe from my mom. " she gestured me to sit down. so i did, which made her smile.

we were silently eating the beef stew she prepared. which was weird because belle is the talkative kind of person. she never runs out of topics.

" i saw you earlier. " my ears shot up as i heard her speak. i bit my lips before facing her. she had this unknown expression that i was not sure of. but rest assured, she looked happy.

" w-where? " i asked.

" in that sweets café. . . with that guy. " her voice went low during the last words, but it was audible enough for me. my heart pounded hard. i bit my lips again, as i started to feel heat under my eyes.

" i'm--

she reached for my hand that was shivering. she clutched unto it and gave it a squeeze.

" i saw how you smiled. and believe me when i say, i actually miss seeing that smile of yours. " she said, tears already threatening to fall. i felt my lips shake when i can no longer contain my own tears. i lowered my head when i almost let out a sob.

" shine, you don't have to get rid of your happiness. everything was not your fault. " her voice was soft. calm, comforting, soothing. i breathed to calm myself down. when i raised my head, i saw her already wiping her tears off.

" you know it was mine. " i tried so hard to deliver the right words while still stifling a sob. i lowered my head again to divert my gaze.

she placed her hand on my chin to raise my head. she lightly shook her head.

" ssh, no, bub. it wasn't yours. it was never yours. " she stood up and walked towards me. she knelt before me, and i could see how she resembled him so much.

" please, stop blaming yourself and get the love you deserve. " she said. i breathed heavily as she said those words.

do i really deserve to be loved?

" stop trapping yourself in the past. save yourself and move on. there's still a life ahead of you, so please, don't waste it. " and even before i could respond, she wrapped her arms around me.

save yourself and move on.

///