ending scene | l.hc

22

{his}

" when did you record this? " mr. lim asked, listening to the song.

i cleared my throat.

" last night, sir. " i replied, in a low tone.

" your voice is hoarse. it doesn't go well with the song. i told you to bring me something powerful. " he said, in an unexpected calm tone. i sighed heavily before looking away.

" s-something got in the way. a little family issue. " i swallowed a lump in my throat.

" well then, settle that little issue, get some inspiration and record this again. present it to me in two days. " he said, returning the cd to me. i accepted it, rather lazily. or i was just too tired with everything that's been going on.

" you can go. " he gestured, so i stood up and went around to get out of his office. i was about to turn the doorknob when he spoke once again.

" i'm giving you a chance, haechan. one chance. " i sighed, given that his voice was more calm than usual. i faced him and i bowed.

" i won't fail this time. " i said, before finally opening the door and leaving.

•••

it was a long day. i glanced at my wristwatch. it was 8:58 in the evening.

i walked around this small park near my brother's condo.

the cold autumn breeze wrapped around me, making me close my eyes. i felt the coldness build around me, but i couldn't care more.

i sat in the lonely swing, swaying myself to and fro.

tomorrow, i will preserve my voice so i could show them what i really am and how much i'm really capable of.

" eomma, ice cream? " a child spoke to his mother. his ears were red from the coldness and he was wearing a scarf too big for him. i felt a corner of my lips curve upwards as i remembered myself when i was younger.

" adeul, it's too cold to have ice cream. but eomma will cook ramyeon for you tomorrow. would you like that? " the mother crouched down to caress the child's crimson cheeks.

" yes! " the child smiled widely as he threw his hands up in the air, like he earned a victory.

" okay, then. let's go home. your hyung and appa is waiting for us. " his mom's voice was calm.

i felt a wrenching pain in my chest as i followed them with my gaze. not too far, a door opened. and they were welcomed by a man, and a kid, a little older than the other one.

their smiles. their laughs. it just reminded me of how we used to be.

" that kid's name is donghyuck. " a voice spoke beside me. i turned around, just to see my brother. he was still in his uniform. in his hands were two bottles of energy drink. i looked at him before returning my gaze to the family who entered their home.

" how did you know? " it was almost a whisper.

" that kid ran to me earlier, saying i looked like his hyung. then i asked for his name. " i could hear his smile in between his words. he loosened his neck tie before handing me a bottle. i shook my head.

" i have to record tomorrow. " i said, before pursing my lips.

" oh, is that so? " he replied, before opening the drink.

a long silence filled us.

" i had a seminar last week. and one of the executives' speech was all about how to trust someone who once failed you. i mean, it wasn't actually that, but that was how i saw it. " he said, his hand on his knees. i heard him chuckle.

" you won't believe me but all i could think about was dad. " i looked away as i formed my hand into a knuckle.

" he's been reaching out to me, to you. he's been wanting to talk to you, to ask for your forgiveness. " he said those words, like it was the easiest thing in the world. a corner of my lips rose in disbelief.

" his 'sorry' won't undo everything. it won't bring back what was lost. it won't bring back mom. " i replied, struggling to finish my own words.

" is that what you want, haechan? to go back? " i gave him a look as his words felt like it was mocking me.

" to go back to the times where we were happy? yes. that's what i want. " i replied. he shook his head as he pursed his lips.

" going back will never make it okay. if you go back, we will still end up like this. " my brows furrowed at his words. he stood up and walked until he was close to me. he sat on his ankles as he faced me.

" his 'sorry' won't undo everything, yes. but it can do something in the future. where your heart is no longer filled with hatred, with anger. " he placed his index finger in my chest as he said the word 'heart'.

i scoffed before i removed his hand from me.

" you say that as if you never cursed him 6 years ago. like you never wanted to see him in his grave. " i said, with a big amount of disbelief. i saw how he avoided his gaze, as his eyes got filled with tears, jaw clenching.

a little while, i heard him sigh.

" it changed because i learned to forgive. i learned to accept with the fact that nothing was going back. i learned that i need to stop living in the past. " and his words hit me.

' i need to stop living in the past. '

" and now, all i want is for him to be forgiven. and for you, to forgive. not just him, but also yourself. "

///