I Love You

15

Xiao Zhan went to work, excited to see Yibo. Now he doesn't have to hold back and can stare at Yibo, especially when Yibo gave his outdoor lessons.

Xiao Zhan was not going to go back to Yibo yet. He wants to sort out his feelings and makes sure he loves Yibo before chasing after Yibo.

"Hi Zhan" Yibo greeted as he entered the office. Xiao Zhan turned around and greeted back. The two got comfortable when returning from the trip.

Yibo rolled his chair beside Xiao Zhan. "Zhan, want to go for dinner today?" Yibo asked.

"Today I can't..." Xiao Zhan said and Yibo pouted. "But tomorrow..." Before Xiao Zhan could continue, Yibo stood up and held his hand.

"Tomorrow! It's a deal! See you!" Yibo said and hopped off to class. Xiao Zhan smiled. He found the feeling he always felt when they were young.

The feeling of his heart squeezing in happiness and every cell in his body lighting up and making him happy just by looking at him.

The next day, Xiao Zhan waited for Yibo to finish his class. Yibo booked the restaurant he used to bring Xiao Zhan to.

They were eating halfway when a woman came over "Yibo?" Yibo's eyes widened "Y-You... What are you doing here..."

Xiao Zhan frowned as the woman so casually placed her hand on Yibo's shoulder. For Yibo who hates people's touches, this was weird.

"Who is this?" The woman asked, pointing to Xiao Zhan. Xiao Zhan slightly bowed "I'm his colleague..." Yibo frowned "Liying, we have nothing to do with each other. Please leave"

The woman, Liying, smirked. "Nothing? Fine, but you were so good in bed. Anytime you need to release, you can still look for me"

Yibo's fist clenched while Xiao Zhan's eyes widened. What did he just hear? He looked at Yibo and Yibo's expression made him stand up and leave.

"Zhan!" Yibo quickly got up and chase after Xiao Zhan. He managed to grab him and pulled him aside.

Yibo's heart clenched when he saw Xiao Zhan crying. "Zhan... I..." Xiao Zhan shook his head "Did she take your first time?"

"..." Yibo didn't answer but his gaze told Xiao Zhan 'Yes and I'm sorry'. "Zhan... It was a mistake..."

Xiao Zhan chuckled sadly "I'm so stupid. You said you only ever want to have your first time and all the other times after that with me. I should have known that does not mean you kept your first time for me"

Yibo was getting frustrated "Zhan Zhan! It was a mistake! I was drunk and I don't know! It just happened!"

Xiao Zhan was struggling to break free "Let go, Yibo! Now I don't know if I can trust what you said about the past being misunderstandings!"

Yibo got mad and shouted "Xiao Zhan! What's the big deal anyway! You also had your first time and who knows how many with others!"

Xiao Zhan's eyes widened. He pulled his hand away and punched Yibo hard, then shouted "What's the big deal?

Didn't you always say your first time is the most important and that you will only keep it for your one and only love? And I never gave my body to someone I don't love! Don't make me sound like a slut!"

Yibo gulped and tried explaining "Zhan... I... I didn't mean that... I didn't mean to say that either... I..."

However, Xiao Zhan broke free and ran away. Yibo slumped down and cursed. Yibo had always refrained from having flings, since he was keeping it for Zhan.

But one night, he got drunk and when the woman touched him, his manhood betrayed him. The lust was too overwhelming.

Yibo thought of the woman as Zhan while doing her. But he also knows that it is not an excuse for him to spend his first time with a stranger he had no feelings for.

Xiao Zhan went home, crying. Immediately, Darren came out and brought hm to the sofa "Zhan, what happened?"

Xiao Zhan said nothing and cried all he could, till he finished. Then, he told Darren what happened.

"Zhan... he was drunk and he never had his first time yet so something might have happened..." Darren tried explaining.

Xiao Zhan dried his tears "It's not that... He just made it sound like he had kept his first time for me. The way I found out made me doubt if he had lied to me when he explained the past...

And... He made me sound like I'm easy, like I'm a slut who gives my first time away easily and had sex with "who knows how many others" as he said... That's what I'm upset about..."

Darren smiled "Zhan, we both know how he used to be. When he is angry he says things rashly and acts rashly too"

Xiao Zhan bit his lower lip, then sighed "Darren, I... I wished we didn't come back. It's too much. My heart hurts and I don't want to do anything"

Darren ruffled his hair "Go sleep. Sleep it off and we'll see tomorrow. If you're not feeling well, take a break from work"

Xiao Zhan nodded. He thanked Darren, then got up and went to his room. He bathed and laid down but could not sleep.

Going to his closet, he took out a box he hadn't opened for almost a year, since the time he and Darren got together.

Xiao Zhan looked at the bottles in the box and once he checked that they weren't expired, he popped in 3 sleeping pills.

1 or 2 sleeping pills weren't enough anymore, since he constantly took them for 3 years, other than days where Darren caught him and stopped him.

Xiao Zhan then went to bed, tears flowing out of his eyes. Does Yibo see him as an easy person who plays around and not take feelings seriously?