Ten Minutes Ago // Ben Tyler Cook

Part Three / Chapter Five

My wish about avoiding an awkward first rehearsal had not gone well. I avoid Ben, and he avoids me. We don't make eye contact. I can't help but notice that in the time we were apart, he grew a little bit. Not in height, but he looks older. He looks better. Rehearsal isn't over soon enough.

Kyle approaches me after it finally ends. "Hey, Marlee, a bunch of us are going to grab something to eat. Do you want to come?"

I glance at Ben, wondering if he's going. I decide that it doesn't matter, and I turn back to Kyle. "Yeah, sure. Sounds fun." I smile.

"Cool." Kyle grins and walks away to get his stuff.

I grab my bag and join the group of cast members walking to the restaurant. I let out a sigh of relief when Ben doesn't follow. I walk a little faster to catch up with Erika, Taylor, and Kate, who are at the front of the group.

"Marlee!" Kate exclaims when she sees me. "I didn't know you were coming."

I smile at her. "Great job at rehearsal, by the way," I tell the girls around me. They chorus agreement, congratulating each other on a job well done.

The restaurant we go to isn't far from the August Wilson, and it's one I've never been to before. I glance behind me to see who's in the group. There are seven of us: me, Erika, Kate, Taylor, Kyle, Grey, and Cheech, who I've only spoken to once. He plays Kevin Gnapoor. We're seated, and Erika speaks first.

"Cheech, I thought Ben was coming with us. Where is he?" At her question, I freeze. Oh no.

Cheech shrugs. "Yeah, he said he'll be here in a minute. Something about his roommate needing help with something." I wonder if he's still rooming with Josh. I'm called out of my thoughts when I hear someone say my name.

"Marlee, did you get a chance to meet Ben?" Kate asks from the other end of the table. "I feel like you two would get along."

"Oh, actually I already know him," I reply, trying to sound natural. "We were in Newsies together a while ago."

"Yeah, that's right. I forgot," Kate says with a nod, seeming satisfied with my answer. I'm off the hook, for now.

I tune out the group's conversation, my mind still reeling from seeing Ben. It's been so long since I've seen him, and we didn't end our last conversation on a good note.

~ * ~ * ~

"Let me come with you." Ben watches me, his blue eyes pleading me to say yes. "I can help you move in."
   
I shake my head. "No, Ben, I can do this on my own. You don't need to come."

As I turn to continue packing, he grabs my wrist. "I want to come, Marlee." He hasn't used his nickname for me since the night I told him about my role in London. Our relationship hasn't been the same since then.

I gently pull my arm out of his hand. "When I said no, I meant no. You stay here."

He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his blonde curls and sitting on my bed. I keep taking clothes out of my drawer. "Marlee?" Ben's voice is soft. I turn to look at him. "I need you to answer a question for me. I need to know."
   
"What do you need to know, Ben?" I continue folding clothes.

"What are we? Just because you told me no doesn't mean I don't love you. I still do. I...I just need to know before you leave. Am I holding on to something I need to let go?" His question breaks my heart. I don't want him to let go, but he needs to.

I put down the clothes and join him on the edge of the bed. I don't look at him because I can't bear to see his face. "I think you need to let go," I whisper, forcing tears away from my eyes.

He nods slowly. "So that's it, then? We're done?"

I desperately want to say no. I want to hold on to him and never let go. But I have to do what's best for both of us. I shrug. "I guess so."

He stands and walks to the door of my bedroom. "Then I guess I'll see you around, Marlee." He finally turns to look me in the eyes, and I'm able to see all of the hurt I've caused him. Before I can change my mind, he says, "Have a nice flight." Ben leaves, and I hear the door to the apartment open and close behind him, cutting us off for good.

~ * ~ * ~

The bell on the front door of the restaurant dings as it opens. "There he is!" Cheech says happily as Ben walks over to the table. I look down to avoid our eyes meeting. This is going to be one interesting meal.