Ten Minutes Ago // Ben Tyler Cook

Part Three / Chapter Eleven

Five Weeks Later

Marlee's POV
The weeks I spend at home creep by at a snail's pace. Seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, and days into weeks, but I don't register the passage of time. Each individual second seems to stand still. I seem to be the only one in my family still upset. Both of my parents have returned to work. Connor, Holly, and their new daughter Eliza flew back to New Mexico two weeks ago. Adrienne is back in school. I'm still at home, occupying my old bedroom. My parents have talked to me about going back to New York, but I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can go back to Mean Girls, or any production for that matter. I've lost interest in almost everything, not just work. Besides, my job isn't supposed to feel like a real job. It's supposed to be fun, and I'm supposed to enjoy it. I don't even listen to soundtracks anymore.
   
One afternoon, I decide to clean my room, finally. Months of me being gone did not contribute to the cleanliness under my bed.

Situating myself on the floor, I remove boxes and loose items from underneath my bed. Once I have everything out, I filter through the boxes, trying to decide what to put back under the bed. I find everything from crafts I made as a kid to old photo albums. I'm grateful for the distraction as I sort everything into different piles. When I pick up the final box, a small box, the distraction disappears. Inside are pictures of me and my siblings when we were younger.

Against my better judgement, I look at each of the photos. Tears well up in my eyes as I see Asia. We fought often, but I loved her and she loved me. When I moved to New York, we never talked. I now regret not reaching out to her.

As I'm examining the pictures, I find newer photos. I had no idea someone printed these out. They're pictures of Thanksgiving during Newsies. I smile to myself as I see pictures of Sky, Josh, and Adrienne playing with the dog. I come across photos of Ben and I sitting on the couch together, smiling brightly. As I flip through more photos of the two of us, it occurs to me that I never thanked him for taking care of me after I found out what happened. If it weren't for Ben, I don't think I would have gotten through that night at Kyle's. In a moment of pure impulse, I reach over, grab my phone, and call Ben. I sit on my bed as I wait for him to pick up.

"Marlee?" He answers, confused. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah," I start. It occurs to me that I have no idea what I'm going to say. "So, um, I realized I never thanked you properly for taking care of me after I got the call from Connor. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Oh," Ben says, obviously taken aback. "Well, I'm sure any of your friends would have done the same for you."

"But that's what I'm getting at." I sigh. "We're not friends. Not really, anyway. Not in a long time. We haven't spoken much since I came back, and yet, you were so willing to help me."
"Yeah, I was because I care about you, Marlee," he replies. "Whether we're in a relationship or not, I still care about you."

I lean against the headboard of my bed, coming to the realization that I don't deserve Ben. At all. "Ben, look, I...I know I hurt you, and I can't express how much I regret that."

He draws in a breath. "Yeah. Yeah, you definitely hurt me."

"But I'm tired of pretending nothing happened. I'm tired of avoiding you," I say quickly. "I miss you."

Ben pauses. "I miss you, too," he says finally.

I relax slightly. "Can we start over?" I request.

"Yes. Let's start over." I can picture him smiling.

"In that case," I say, "my name is Marlee Jane Granger. What's yours?"
   
"Ben Tyler Cook." Now I can hear the smile in his voice. "It's nice to meet you, Marlee Jane Granger. I think we're going to be great friends."

~ * ~ * ~

My parents have told me I need to move back into my apartment. The last thing I want to do is live on my own. Sure, I have friends, but I don't know if I can bear to be alone. I'm afraid of what thoughts may come to my head. If I'm with someone, I can distract myself. I've turned down countless calls from both current and former castmates, with Ben being the one exception. I'm afraid that when one particular person calls, I won't be able to turn it down.
   
That's why I find myself frozen when a call comes through. I can't turn him down. Before I regret anything, I accept the call, bringing the phone to my ear. "Hello?"
   
"You sound awful, Marlee," Josh's voice comes from the other end of the phone. "No offense," he adds quickly.
   
"You try losing a sister," I snap back, immediately feeling bad for lashing out at him. "I'm sorry," I apologize in a whisper.
   
"You don't have to apologize. That admittedly wasn't the best thing to say to you right off the bat." I can imagine him wincing. "How are you holding up?" He asks me.
   
"That's what everyone asks. How am I holding up? Well, I haven't left my room for a week, except to go to the kitchen or the bathroom. How does it sound like I'm holding up?" I release a sharp sigh.
   
"Have you considered coming back yet? I know you're hurting, and I can't pretend to know what you're going through. But it's been over a month, Marlee. Your friends miss you. Your show is opening in less than a month. You don't want to miss out on that." He's not wrong. I had been looking forward to the opening performance for months, now. I'd already missed the preview shows taking place this month. "Come back home."
   
Out of anyone that would try to convince me to move back to New York, Josh is the most likely to succeed, even though I haven't spoken to him in forever. "I am at home," I reply softly.
   
"You're with your family. I know you grew up there, but your home is back in New York. That's where your other family is." I can hear the smile in his voice. "Anyway, I knew Asia. What would she say if she saw you right now? Be honest."
   
Be honest. "She would tell me to 'woman up' and stop moping around," I reply finally, smiling at the memory of Asia telling me that multiple times.
   
"That's what I thought. If I were you, I would listen to her advice, Marlee. Think about it, okay? I'll talk to you later," Josh says, saying goodbye. I hang up, thinking over what I just heard. For someone who acts like a child most of the time, he's surprisingly wise.
   
Yes, Tennessee is my home. It will always be. But I belong in New York with my friends. Scratch that, I belong in New York with my family. We may not be related by blood, but we've been through enough to stick together like a family should. For the first time in weeks, I open my laptop and begin to research flights back to New York City.

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yay for another long chapter
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