If heart ache was a physical pain, I could face it.

Part Twenty Six

Siva’s POV

“Excuse me, do you know where Anne Kemp is? She came in not too long ago.” I ask the reception lady as soon as we finally get into the hospital.

“Let me just have a look for you.” She smiles sympathetically at me before beginning to type away on her computer. “She’s in theatre one.” She replies after a few moments. “If you just follow the signs you’ll be able to wait outside.”

After following the signs for a couple of minuets I spot Tom sitting in the middle of the hallway, and before I even realise it, I’m running towards him. I crouch down to his level, wrapping one arm around his shoulder as I do so.

“What did they say mate?” I ask, not entirely sure I want to hear the answer. I mean looking at the tears running down his cheeks it can’t a good thing. Right?

“She’s in surgery now, having a liver transplant.” His voice is barley recognisable, thick with tears like it is right now. But his answer just confuses me; that’s a good thing, why is he sitting here still in tears?

“But that’s great news!”I smile at him, only to realise all too late that I was obviously missing a vital piece of information.

“It’s not a close enough match; they think she’ll reject it.” He whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear.

I wish I didn’t hear.

“Tom, Anne’s a fighter. There’s no way she’ll let this beat her.”

“Like she has a choice.” He mumbles even quieter than the last time, before we slip into an awkward silence. I can hear the others talking in hushed voices too far down the corridor for me to be able to make out what’s being said but I wish they’d come down as far as me and Tom. I don’t know what to say or do. I know I want to comfort him, but I just don’t know how. I guess getting him up off the floor is a good start though.

“Do you think we could go and sit on the seats now?” I ask. “I’m getting old and this is making my legs hurt.”

“I’m older than you.” Tom replies in a flat monotone.

“But I’m an old man at heart, and you’re still a little kid. Please my legs are killing me.” I know that exaggerating my discomfort is the best way to make him move.

“Fine” He huffs, clearly annoyed. To be honest moaning about my legs, when Anne’s in a much worse condition probably wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had but at least it worked, I think as we take our seats before sitting in silence once more, waiting for a Doctor to come and speak to us. Whether the news he'll bring is good or bad, I really wish he'd just hurry up, this wait it killing me.

Jay’s POV

Seeing Tom sitting on the floor of the hospital is when it all finally becames too much for me. I stop dead in my tracks as it dawns on me that this is all my fault. If I hadn’t have had the stupid idea of having this dinner or even if I had just listened to everyone when they had told me what a stupid idea it was then this wouldn’t have happened. Tom and Max wouldn’t have gotten into that argument which was only to be expected, and I see now that I was a fool not to have seen that sooner.  But if I had... If I had just thought about it sooner instead of just insisting that I held the answers to everyone’s prayers then we definitely wouldn’t be stood in a hospital right now. If I hadn’t practically forced the idea down everyone’s throat then Anne wouldn’t have got stressed and she wouldn’t have collapsed, and that’s the horrible truth of it.

“Jay what’s wrong?” Jess asks as she notices that I’m no longer by her side. 

“This is my fault.” I whisper, not able to look her in the eye.

“Jay no it’s not.” She says pulling me over to the side of the corridor and sitting me down on one of the chairs, taking both of my hands in hers before looking me directly in the eye. “This isn’t your fault, don’t you dare think that.” She says sternly. “You didn’t know this was going to happen, if you had, you wouldn’t have suggested coming out tonight.”

“But...” I start, but she quickly cuts me off.

“No, I don’t want to hear it. This isn’t your fault Anne wouldn’t want you blaming yourself, so don’t.” I really wish I could take her words as she meant them, as comfort. But I can’t help thinking that she didn’t mean it. We all know I talked everyone into this and now Anne’s paying the price. I look down away from Jess’ eyes, unable to look at the sympathy there.  I don’t deserve sympathy, I should be feeling like this, I’ve got it easy compared to most of the others, and I’m all too aware of that. Guilt’s a horrible thing.

Max’s POV

The minuet I left the table I knew it was a bad idea, there’s no way that Charly is going to take me back now, I really screwed up big time there. But at the same time I can’t bring myself to feel bad about it. Out relationship was never going anywhere, it was just a convenience. But now, looking on the bright side I don’t have to worry about keeping up a relationship with her anymore, I can focus completely on winning my girl back. And win her back I will. I do feel bad about screwing over my best mate though. Me and Charly had a great friendship before I used her like that. And if I could turn back the clocks I would, and I would never have kissed her, or told her I love her, because I could really use a friendship like we had right now.

I look down at my phone in annoyance as it starts ringing. Again.  Knowing without looking that it will be one of the boys to tell me what a dick I’ve been I turn it off. I know what a dick I’ve been I really don’t need a lecture right now. What I actually need right now is a drink. A strong one, to help me forget what a huge mistake tonight has been.