If heart ache was a physical pain, I could face it.

Part Thirty Four

Tom’s POV

Slowly, my feeling and hearing comes back to me, but even more slowly comes my conscious thoughts and reasoning. Confusion sets in as beeping fills my ears and a sterile smell my nose.  With my body aching and my head pounding I open my eyes to give myself more clues, and... Shit. As images flood my brain so does the past. Every painful memory. Anne... I squeeze my eyes tightly closed again. Why did I wake up? I didn’t want to wake up.

“Tom?” I hear a voice call, but because it’s not the voice I want to hear. I need to hear. I ignore it. I’ll never hear that voice again. How am I going to do it this time? When I never even managed it before; before people were even suspecting I’d try it? “Tom?”

“Fuck off Nath.” I pull my arm over my eyes, hiding my face from him, not wanting him to see me cry. Why can’t he just leave me alone? Surely he can understand to an extent what I’m feeling. I wouldn’t have done this if I were happy.

“Tom, she didn’t die.”

“What?” I ask, my eyes snapping open as I move my arm away from my face. I try to sit up so I can see him easier, see if he’s lying to me; but my body doesn’t want to obey me that much yet. Can’t blame it after what I did to it.

“Anne didn’t die. She’s been awake, talking to people; you just jumped the gun a little bit the other day.”

“She’s alive?” My voice breaks, as I’m struggling to take in what he’s saying. Did I really nearly throw everything away for no reason? Shit. But is she really alive? Or is this just Nath telling me what he thinks I want to hear. What I need to hear?

“She’s fine mate.” He replies, smiling down at me. “The op was a success, her cancer’s gone.”

“Nathan if you’re having me on, I swear to God I will kill you.”

“I wouldn’t joke about this. She woke up yesterday.” A huge smile forms on my face, as words fail me, I’m crying again, but at least this time they’re happy tears, full of relief.

“I can’t believe I was stupid enough to nearly lose everything for no reason.” I say, sobering up again. That was a close one.

“You were stupid, but I’d have done the same if it were Sophie.”

“Yeah let’s not talk about this. I need to see Anne.”

“I thought you’d say that. I’ll go talk to someone for you.” He replies standing up.

“Thanks mate.” I say. Feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.

Max’s POV

“I’ll do it.” I say, agreeing to take Anne to see Tom before I even realise I’m doing it. I just wanted to be closer to her, but now that I think of it this can work in my favour. If I fake a smile and act happy for the two of them, maybe they will believe I’ve gotten over Anne, or given up on her at least. If I can get back on their good side especially Tom’s, then the easier it will be to get Anne to fall for me again.  Or at least convince Tom to mess up.

“Max?” Jay asks, clearly not convinced this is a good idea. Not that I blame him. But I’ll behave. To get back with Anne, I need to behave. Or let everyone believe that at least.

“He’s awake?” She practically squeals as soon as I tell her the news. And the look on her face almost makes me rethink my plan.

Almost.

I love her so much; I should probably want her to be happy, even if it’s without me. But I’m way too selfish for that. Plus I made her happy once, I can do it again, I just have to fight for it, and remind her of what we had, and how special it was.

“Yeah, and asking for you so let’s go see him.” Taking a deep breath I push the chair up to her bed. This is going to be much harder than I anticipated.

Anne’s POV

“Max I am not getting in the wheelchair. I’ll walk” He can’t seriously think I’ll get in that? “I don’t need to, I’m fine.”

“The Doctors said you can’t walk too far because you might pull your stitches out. So get in, or else we’re not going.” After giving Max the evils and neither or us saying anything I decide that he’s serious, and as my need to see Tom over powers everything else, I slowly and tenderly make my way into the wheelchair. Maybe this was a good idea; it would have taken a lot of effort to walk to his room. Not that I’ll be telling Max that...

“Hurry up.” I laugh, knowing from past experience that he hates being told what to do.

“Sure.” He says, and to my surprise he actually does it. Why’s he being so nice to me? He shouldn’t be nice to me. I don’t deserve it.

“Max, I’m so sorry.”

“Anne don’t worry about it.”

“But I do! You’re such a nice person, and what I did, it was horrible.”

“I’m just glad you’re happy now.” He sighs, which makes me feel even more guilty. I was happy with him too... Just happier with Tom.

As Max and I enter Tom’s room, silence falls, while Max pushes me towards the bed, Tom and I too lost in the moment to be able to speak. As we reach the bed, I jump from the chair into Tom’s arms, ignoring the pain in my stomach as I do so. I don’t think any moment in my life will ever compare to this. Being held in my loved ones arms after thinking I’d lost him is impossible to describe. As we sit in silence, holding onto one another for dear life, I feel his tears soaking through my shirt as I’m sure he can feel the same happening to him.

“You’re an idiot Tom.” I mumble against his chest, breathing in his smell, even if it is slightly tainted by the hospital.

“Don’t start babe.” He whispers against my hair.

“No, I will start.” I don’t want to ruin the moment, but I’m so angry at what he tried to do, I need to say something about it. “Don’t you dare do anything like that again! Do you have any idea how I felt when I thought you were dead?”

“Yes. I do actually! That’s why I did it remember!” Looking into Tom’s eyes, I can’t bare to fight with any longer, and before I know it, my arms are around his neck, my lips pressed to his, taking in every part of him I possibly can, as quickly as I possibly can. I never want to let him go again, life too short, and you don’t know just how soon someone might slip through your fingers.

Max’s POV

Seeing Anne kissing Tom, it all gets too much, and I slip quietly out of the room. Not that would have noticed if I’d been shouting at them with a megaphone. Leaning against the wall I run a hand over my head in frustration. This is going to be a million times harder than I ever imagined.  It hurts so much to see them together, and they’re so in love, is it even possible to make her fall for me again?